Sunday, September 16, 2007

State Fair Button 2007... with a message!

Here is our annual fair button, but there is a special message in it.

Yesterday I was a bit melancholy about the significance of today's date, but now I am feeling better about things. Today would have been Andy's 60th birthday, and since the fair was one of his very favorite things to do every year we all decided to dedicate the button in his honor. Doing this little tribute helped me through what I feared would be a difficult day.

So, here it is!

Celebrants include Arthur, Kathy, Shelby, Clown, John and Me. Thank goodness for this crazy, mixed up, goofy, blended family of mine that loves and understands me.

Happy Birthday A.B. wherever your spirit is resting this day.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Tomorrow is our annual Fair day.

Time for the State Fair yet AGAIN! I don't think there is anything that shouts "time is passing" to me louder than the coming of the Fair. It is something that I have loved for decades now, but in a strange way I am reluctant for "Fair" time to come around this year. I will elaborate on that a bit more tomorrow, after we have dragged ourselves home from another annual visit to the "Great State Fair of Oklahoma."

Past Fair memories I have documented include: A page of photo buttons and The Pirate Ship Story Part One and Part Two!

These are the
memorial photo buttons the Shriners made for us that year. We have a Shriner button from each year since 1987, I have every one of them posted on this site.

Tomorrow's button will make number 21 in the series. Unbelieveable!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

The Year of the Locust

... or at least I think that is what this year must be.

For the past few nights the loud singing of the evening locusts has been making me feel unsettled. It just dawned on me why.

Seven years ago was the summer of 2000. That was the summer when Andy's illness really took hold, when I thought I was going to lose him. He rallied and lived another 18 months, but it really was the beginning of the end. That was the summer he was in the hospital just barely clinging to life. I was working my then brand new school nurse job, and learning to be a virtual single parent to my kindergartener and fourth grader.

I put the kids down to sleep in one bedroom so I could read bedtime stories to both at the same time. Then I sat by their bedsides until they drifted off. There in the dusky shadows I had a few moments to reflect on my upside-down world. My mind raced as I tried to figure out how things had become so crazy. Why couldn't the doctors figure out what was wrong? How could I spend time with my dying husband, work full time, take care of my children and home, and still manage to get enough rest? I bargained with God and cried out to Him, but all I heard in reply was the shrill song of the locusts.

On some of those nights I caught myself planning a funeral, writing an obituary in my mind. The locusts continued their song where my thoughts left off. Then I mentally beat myself for not having enough faith... for giving up.

Actually, I never did truly give up until Andy drew his last breath. But in those shadows I was trying to come to terms with reality, taking steps toward an acceptance that did not mean agreement at all...

The locusts are louder than any year since 2000, so I guess this really is the year of the seven year locust.

And, once again I find myself sitting in the shadows and reflecting.

Monday, September 3, 2007

My third drummer makes his debut.

I must either be very patient, or very nuts. If I'm not nuts I probably will be by the time my last child graduates from high school. This is because I have given birth to my own drumline. All three of my kids are percussionists! My seventh grader (the last in the lineup) made his drumline debut at the middle school football game this past Friday. Here he is! :)

Video is pretty shaky, filmed by his friend!