Wednesday, February 25, 2004

I still remember my sweetheart....

Two years ago, on 2/25/2002, this guy became the ugliest angel in heaven! (Don't worry, he would appreciate that comment!)

I remember his kindness, gentleness and good heart. I remember how I always felt protected when I was with him. I remember how ornery he was, but oh how I loved that! :)

I still feel him around me. He will forever be a part of me.

Sunday, February 22, 2004

Almost two years....

I am sitting in a very weird place today.

The two year anniversary of Andy's death is in 3 days... the 25th. Two years ago day before yesterday he signed his advanced directive. Two years ago yesterday was his last phone call ever to me. He left a message: "OK, call me!" (Can you believe that I still have that call on my voicemail? I have patiently forwarded it to myself every week for two years now.)

Two years ago today (2-22-2002) was the last time he paged me 2's, as I was on the way to the airport to pick up Jimmy. Two years ago tonight was the last lengthy conversation we ever had, when he expressed his never ending love for me, and tried to comfort me.

My love for him still shines so bright!

The weird part has been trying to make the ends of my old life and my new life meet. How is it that I can be so in love with somebody new, but so in love with Andy at the same time? I have learned that it is possible. Art and I have decided that it is the love that I shared with Andy and the love that he shared with Sue that has enabled us to love each other so deeply. They both left us with a legacy that we can continue. We have been there before, and we know how to love.

Arthur has told me that he is fine with whatever I want from him on the 25th. If I want him to stay away, he will honor that. Or if I need him with me, he will stay by my side. Problem is, I don't know! I guess I will have to move as the wind blows???

Last year I worked that day, and I probably will this year too. I was OK at work. Work was my escape during the early days, so I will "escape" to work on the 25th.

I know that I am just rambling... but I needed somewhere to express my love to my sweetheart on this 2-22.