Today was not as bad as I had anticipated. As usual, the couple of weeks leading up until this day were the worst.
Nobody besides the kids remembered what today was, (or if they did, they didn't bring it up) but it's ok. Honestly, it is. It was not the rest of the world, it was the lives of me and our kids that had the center ripped out. I know our friends and family care about me and miss him, the date of his passing doesn't really make a difference. Maybe I am too hung up on dates myself.
Andy sent me comfort in the form of another synchronicity.
I was really hoping that our choir director would have us sing "On Eagles Wings" today. Some of you might remember that was the hymn that Doug sang at Andy's funeral.
As soon as we arrived at church this morning I looked to see what songs we were going to sing. I was disappointed to see that "On Eagles Wings" was not among them. Oh well...
The service proceded as usual. Then the deacon began reading Psalm 91.
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, Abides in the shadow of the Almighty,
2 He shall say to the LORD, "You are my refuge and my stronghold; My God, in whom I trust."
3 He will deliver you from the snare of the hunter and from the deadly pestilence;
4 He will cover you with his pinions, and you will find refuge under his wings;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
5 You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day;
6 Of the plague that stalks in darkness, nor of the sickness that wastes at mid-day.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand;
but it will not come near you.
8 Your eyes have only to behold to see the reward of the wicked;
9 Because you have made the LORD your refuge, and the Most High your habitation,
10 There shall no evil shall happen to you, neither shall any plague come near your dwelling
11 For he will give his angels charge over you to guard you in all your ways.
12 They shall bear you in their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone...
Psalm 91 is what inspired and is almost word for word the verses from "On Eagles Wings." There are at least 130 psalms. What are the odds that particular psalm would be read at our church on that particular day?
I knew he wouldn't forget me.
Oh, one other person remembered.
Arthur and I were eating out, and he suddenly stopped and said "oh... today is the 25th." I nodded, and he looked at me with those eyes full of love. No other words were needed.
Five years can be a lifetime when a new life is beginning.