We said "NO!" :)

Once Upon a Time there were two people who were so busy, it never seemed they had time to spend together just relaxing...

~~~~~~

This past weekend was Fall Break, but even so there were activities in which Art and I could have been participating. Perhaps even "SHOULD" have been participating.

But the sun, stars, and moon aligned to give us a few days to ourselves. It was Homecoming Weekend at Oklahoma State University, and what could be more fun for John than to go for a college weekend with his sister and her friends? So off he went, and we were free. FREE!!!! Free...

... except for a couple loose ends of little obligations.

But you know what? We decided we deserved our own weekend to spend together. So we said "NO" to every other activity, and "YES" to US!

Break is now over, and it's back to work tomorrow. However, we had a great time simply spending our time together, and are so glad for once we said "NO"!

~~~~~~

The End. :)

Welcome home, Son.

This is our 8th Christmas since Andy died. Yesterday, for the very first time since, I saw real, honest-to-goodness joy about the upcoming holiday from my son John. (He's 15 now, by the way...!)

As a matter of fact, out of all of us John has had the hardest time finding his footing in this dreadful storm. He rarely has exhibited enthusiasm about much of anything, it's more like he has been going through the motions of being a kid for the past 8 years. He never totally crashed and burned, but always verged somewhere between melancholy and sullen. Over the years I tried, Shelby tried, then later Arthur tried to help him, but to no avail. Last night, though, something woke up in him. It was like somebody had lit a fire under him!

It started when we were going through some old ornaments that had been misplaced. Some of them were old family decorations, and his spirit was noticably brighter with each one we took out.

"I remember when Daddy used to always play with these trains. And, wow, Mom! I haven't seen this in years! It was always my favorite. And this one always reminded me of magic... and here is that old styrafoam thing that I always loved..."

Hopefully, this change in John will be a lasting one. I was astonished that he actually started singing a Christmas song as he hung ornaments! Our house has not been decked out so much in years.

Some of the ornaments had belonged to Arthur and his late wife Sue, and John asked questions about them as he hung them up. Arthur is not much for decorating, and had been watching TV in the bedroom oblivious to all the activity in the living room. But when he finally came out to investigate, John did something on his own that brought tears to my eyes.

He said, "Hey Arthur! I saved a couple of Sue's ornaments for you to hang and a spot to hang them."

Yes, we are honestly now a family. A blended family, but real none-the-less.

Peace and blessings to all.

Our Fifth Anniversary

A very happy anniversary to Arthur my sweetheart! And for everybody, but especially my widda buddies, here is a clip of a real "oops" moment from our wedding that you will understand. I mean, you will really "get" this one. (This is being published with the full permission of my dear brother in law.)



We love you Allen!

Old commercial, new tradition

Jewelry is the gift to give,

'Cause it's the gift that'll live and live!

So give the gift you know can't fail,

at BC Clark's anniversary sale.


Most sales are after Christmas,

But Clark's is just before.

Most everything is marked way down.

Savings you can't ignore,


At Oklahoma's oldest jeweler,

( Since 1892 )

So, give the gift you know can't fail,

at BC Clark's anniversary sale!

This little jingle is as much a part of the Christmas season in Oklahoma as Chestnuts, Rudolph and Frosty. By the end of my first season in OKC 26 years ago, I was humming it along with all the other songs on the radio.

When Arthur and I chose our wedding bands, I suggested BC Clark. I owned nary a piece of their jewelry despite my love for the commercial, thus I had no emotional tie to the store. I knew that every time we heard the jingle it would make us consider our rings and each other, so now it brings an extra bit of warmth to our holidays.

Merry 5th Christmas to us!

Fixing Arthur's Eyes

Our lives are blending into a blur of painting, rearranging, and waiting for workmen to show up… which sometimes happens when it’s supposed to, and sometimes doesn’t. No wonder the experts say to add at least a month to the estimated time it takes to remodel. I have come to believe that those shows like “Flip this House” are pure fantasy, or there is actually a crew of 200 doing all the work!

Tomorrow we are getting a break, but this one isn’t much fun. Bright and early in the morning, Arthur is having the first of two cataracts removed. Naturally, he is a bit apprehensive about anybody messing with his vision, and I am concerned too, but not just about his eyesight.

Hidden behind his glasses, Arthur has a pair of the prettiest eyes that I have ever seen. He has long black lashes, and his eyes are dark rimmed so he almost looks like he is wearing eyeliner. But the most unique thing is that his left eye is blue and his right eye is green. I haven’t yet decided which one is prettier! It’s hard to see in photos, but in person it is unmistakable.

Yesterday, with great seriousness I informed him that the surgeon would fix his eyes so he can see better, and also would make them both the same color. The panic on Arthur’s face was priceless! He likes his unusual eyes because they set him apart, even from his identical twin brother. (Allen has the cataracts too, but for some reason both of his eyes are green.)

At any rate, I am pretty sure that Arthur’s eyes will remain beautiful, but the better to see me with!

(Hmmm… I hope he likes what he sees!) :)

Remodeling continues. Please send help!!!

Actually, it’s not too bad as long as we quit caring about mess all over the house. There are four rooms torn out, and all the contents have been moved into the rest of the house. One bathroom is half torn out, the other is half replaced. Today we had five people working in addition to Arthur and myself. In other words, our house is in a state of total chaos.

In some ways, all the activity reminds me of the days when I was a young adult and friends would just drop in. I didn’t worry if the house was a mess, and the friends didn’t care either as long as there was an empty piece of floor on which to sit!

One of the carpenters had turned a classic rock station on his little radio, so I turned the same station on our stereo. Arthur and I were painting trim together in a front bedroom, having a great time listening to songs from our youth.

There is something right with the universe when me, my husband, and the tile guy are singing “We are the Champions” together at the top of our lungs.

Good stuff, man! :)

Joy Comes in the Morning ...

…is the title of the post made by Marsha over at Breathings of the Heart the day after she and Kent were married. Her post so hit home with me, because that is the best description of how I felt the morning after our wedding. Today we are celebrating our "morning after" anniversary. (Arthur and I find any excuse to celebrate something, but I'll save that for another post!)

We have one picture from “the morning after,” and like most of my photos there is a story behind it.

When Art and I left the reception to head to a “romantic getaway,” it didn’t occur to us to pack an overnight bag. In the morning, after the joyful fog lifted for a moment, we found ourselves with no clothes other than our wedding attire. He donned his tux bottoms just long enough to go search his car. Fortunately, there was the outfit I had worn to the chapel before I changed into my wedding dress. The only clothing for Arthur was a pair of scrub bottoms and an old paint shirt!

We had to return to my place to relieve Aunt Paula from babysitting. (The kids were due to be delivered at camp later in the day, and then we scheduled to leave on our honeymoon.)

Paula took this shot of us, and even in the unusual outfit you can see from our expressions that joy truly does come in the morning! :)

Happy 4th Anniversary to us! :)

Today is our the actual date of our 4th anniversary. Annie and Rob are also celebrating their anniversary today, so happy anniversary to them!

Today we are not only celebrating 4 years of marriage, but also 37 years of friendship. My biggest fear when our romance began was that we might ruin our friendship in the process, but I'm glad we took the risk!

Back in 1972 Arthur introduced me to the writings of Kahlil Gibran. In fact, I still remember him reading passages from "The Prophet" to me on lazy afternoons when we would hang out at his place! For this reason, we chose a bit of Gibran for one of the readings we used at our wedding. Although the subject of marriage is addressed in The Prophet, we selected the essay about Friendship for our wedding. Here are some photo memories from over the years along with the essay:

On Friendship
Kahlil Gibran

And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship.

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.


When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain
to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.



Happy anniversary to my love, my friend.




*Photos: 1972, 1971, 1977, 1982, 1987, 1994, 2004

Wedding memories: Click here

Anniversary Month

Our 4th wedding anniversary is rapidly approaching. Our church has a little blessing and renewal of marriage vows once a month so, along with the other June couples, this month was our turn.


It’s a bit different for us than the first time we made our vows to each other, though. Back then we headed for a big celebration, then on to a romantic getaway. Today we are renting a van to pick up a tub and two toilets! Does that mean our love is in the toilet? (groan!)

In reality, the wedding, the reception, and honeymoon were wonderful. But this is where the real love is, in enjoying the mundane, everyday things together. I am still so grateful to have this man with me for better or for worse, through painting and plumbing….!

Honeymoon photos

As we begin our new lives together...

***
June 26, 2004

“You dried my tears, and brought me joy that I never thought I would find again. Stephanie, I know that Andy will forever be in your heart, and I will honor that always. Today as we begin our new lives together as husband and wife, I give you the same promise that you kept with him: ‘Until death do us part.’ You are the friend of my youth, and I love you.”

“You dried my tears, and brought me joy that I never thought I would find again. Arthur, I know that Sue will forever be in your heart, and I will honor that always. Today as we begin our new lives together as husband and wife, I give you the same promise that you kept with her: ‘Until death do us part.’ You are the friend of my youth, and I love you.”


***

Wedding Photos: Click Here

We are married!!!

WE DID IT!!!

Arthur and I are officially hitched. (I made a seperate post with photos)

We thought the wedding was going to be a total disaster, because everything went WRONG for two hours before. First, a big chunk of the wedding cake fell off as we were decorating the reception room. We fixed it, but that should have been our first clue that this was not going to be a smooth day.

The people who run the chapel forgot to unlock it, and we had to run around to find the university campus police to open it. The florist couldn't find the bridesmaids bouquets, so they had to hurry up and make new ones. The flower girl's flowers were missing completely, and so she carried a single rose. Nobody could find the unity candles. Jimmy had go rush out to buy new ones.... while on the way to get MY MOTHER, who Arthur and Allen had forgotten to pick up!!!

The runner was forgotten at home, I forgot my necklace, the guestbook was never put out, the musician almost had to leave for another wedding because we were late starting because of the mishap with my mother, and the priest had an attack of angina.

But, when the wedding finally started, it went pefectly from start to finish. The reception was wonderful, and we had a great wedding day after all.

Tomorrow we leave on an almost-3-week honeymoon to Niagara Falls, parts of southern Canada, and the Michigan Upper Peninsula. Photos to follow.

Wedding rehearsal

Photo taken: June 25 2004

Does Mykayla have any idea how cute she is??? :)

Behind her is Victoria, Shelby, me (in the hat my nurse friends at work made me... it worked great for the rehearsal!) and Kathy.

...And now it's our turn

Whirlwind Trip to Detroit and Arthur's Move!!!

What a wild ride! Arthur flew to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving.

Friday we flew to Detroit together for the 30th High School class reunion, which was held Saturday night.

Sunday we loaded the U-Haul with whatever belongings he hadn't sold or given away. Later that evening we celebrated our engagement with Arthur's family.

We left for Oklahoma City early Monday morning, and arrived Tuesday evening.

WHEW!!!





The end... and the beginning...!

Arthur's retirement reception!

Big changes coming in 8 days!

The latest news is Arthur is officially retiring from the State of Michigan next week. His last day at work is November 20th. The entire court is having a big party on Wednesday in honor of his 33 years of service. Then on Friday he is flying here to reside in Oklahoma City permanently!

He has rented an apartment about 2 miles from me. Although I have known him so long I could marry him tomorrow, my two youngest kids need to get to know him better. They have already been through lots of changes, so we are going to do this slowly but surely.

Big changes, but I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

A couple of emails

I have a file folder two inches thick with emails. I have spent hours every day on the phone. I have been living on 2 hours of sleep a night and LOVING it!!!

Soon there will be no need for emails.

" Hi Sweet Arthur!

I promise to get in touch with those apartment people today. As soon as they receive your cashier's check I can pick up the key.

This dream of ours is rapidly becoming a reality! Can you believe this??? We saw each other for the first time in 9 years at the end of July. You are moving here permanently at the end of this month. 4 months is all it took us. All the cards fell right. This is meant to be!!

I love you muchly!!!

:)

Stephanie "

" My dearest friend,
I am thinking of us and our future marriage. The past is gone and I hope I have learned from it. You are the focus of my lifes dreams, hopes and aspirations. At the same time we are individuals with our own needs and desires. If we put those thoughts together in our marriage who can defeat us? My life will never be the same again. I want it to be that way.

We are to be a new entity; we are not to be the same as we were 30 years ago. We have grown and become better people. We have children and grandchildren to help and guide now. You and I have changed over the years but my belief is we are better suited for each other now than 30 years ago.

I will love you until the earth is dust and the stars go dim.
Arthur "

The four of us

OK, now that I have given the good news to everybody, I want to share a special photo. This is Andy, me, Arthur and Sue at our 20th High School reunion.

Bittersweet memories. Only the two friends in the center remain...

Arthur and I are Officially Engaged

I had a wonderful time over Fall Break. Arthur flew in from Detroit on October 15th. He had already proposed to me by telephone, but as soon as we arrived at my house he made it official. He hit his knees and presented me with a beautiful diamond solitaire. I was so emotionally overwhelmed that I couldn't stand up, and ended up on my own knees shaking like a leaf. I then gave him star saphire men's ring. He was completely surprised... and very pleased.

That evening I showed him around town, and took him to the OKC National Memorial. It is so beautiful there after dark. While we were out he called his mother and said, "Hi Mom, I'm home!!!" I guess Arthur already likes it here.

Thursday night he and I took my entire family out to dinner in honor of our engagement. It sure makes it nice that everybody already knows each other well.

Friday we put a downpayment on the wedding chapel. We will be getting married at the Y-Chapel of Song on the University of Central Oklahoma campus. Our wedding is officially set for June 26, 2004.

The time went by too fast. He had to fly back Sunday in order to to return to work on Monday. His official retirement date is not until November 21. I hated to see him get back on that plane.

I sent Arthur an email stating that I was already missing him, and that I should have tied him up and kept him here! I shouldn't have let him go back to Detroit after his visit. His reply made me laugh:

" Angel Heart of mine;

If I had stayed after fall break, I'd be fired or suspended for not coming back. (I couldn't retire.) I would most likely lose everything. I would have no car, no furniture, no money, no place to stay. Very few shirts, jeans, underwear, socks, one pair of shoes. My pension might reach me sometime in January, IF I still get it.

But on the other hand I'd have you! And the ring is paid for.

I love you,
Arthur "