My High School Meme

I didn't have anything profound to write about today but I decided to do a meme I hadn't seen before, found on Brighton the Corner Where you Are. It looked like fun, and it was! :)

1. Did you date someone from your high school? Yes.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? No, but I am now married to somebody I dated when I was in high school who was once married to someone from my high school!

3. Did you car pool to school? No, I walked about a mile, or caught a ride with my dad who left for work about the same time.

4. What kind of car did you have? I didn't have my own car until after high school. I drove my parents car sometimes, a brown 1970 Mercury Monterey.

5. What kind of car do you have now? A silver Jeep Grand Cherokee, plus we have a Ford Edge. Love 'em both.

6. On a Friday Night...what do you do now? Square dance.

7. On a Friday Night...where were you then? On a date or babysitting.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school? Car hop at A and W.

9. What kind of job do you do now? After 17 years working at a hospital, I became a school nurse and haven't looked back.

10. Were you a party animal? Not in high school, but I learned to be one after graduation!

11. Where you considered a flirt? No, I was always very shy. (Still am.)

12. Were you in band, orchestra or choir? Yes. My best friend and I were the first two girls ever on our high school drum line. I also was in choir, and did a European concert tour with a select choir during my junior year.

13. Were you a nerd? I wasn't a brain, if that's what you mean. I graduated smack in the middle of my class.

14. Did you ever get suspended from school? Never.

15. Can you sing the fight song? Of course. "Go Spartans on to glory, conquer the foe! We'll triumph over rivals, and onward we will go (Fight! Fight! Fight!) Go, Spartans raise that score, for champions we will be. Fight with Might for Double Blue and White! Onward to victory!"

16. Who was your favorite teacher? Mr. Croll, English

17. Where did you sit during lunch? In the main cafeteria except when my friends and I would go AWOL and walk to my house for lunch.

18. What was your school's full name? Adlai E. Stevenson High School

19. Where did you party the most? Like I said, I didn't until after high school. Then we all hung out at Arthur's place, because he was the first one to get his own pad!

20. What was your school's mascot? Spartans, like Michigan State, but we had different colors.

21. Would you do it again? Not a chance. However, I would make some very different decisions about my time immediately following graduation... for instance, I would go straight to college.

22. Did you have fun at the Prom? I wrote about that last year. You can read about it here, and here is a photo from my prom:

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to the Prom with? I wish I could, but he died in 2002. He and I were always good friends.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion? Not sure. I went to my 30th, but most of my friends were not there. I graduated with a class of over 600, so I felt rather alone in a crowded room. Arthur and Kathy were there with me, but I see them all the time anyway! :)

25. Do you still talk to people from high school? My best friend then is still my best friend and lives in the same city I do, plus I exchange emails and/or Christmas cards with a few.

26. What were your school colors? Double Blue and White.

Speaking of proms...

As Shelby prepares for her Junior prom, my thoughts drift back to my own. We only had the Senior prom, one chance for that memorable "dream" night.

At the time I wasn't even sure I was going to the dance. I didn't have a boyfriend then, and I was too shy to hint around to anybody I didn't know well. But one day Sue introduced me to a friend of hers that I had never met.

His name was Richard, and when she said "This is Stephanie," he gave me a huge smile and said,

"Stella! That fits you better. I love you madly!"

YES!! Rick is the one who named me Stella. I had never met anybody who was so zany and easy to talk to. Within a few days he asked me to the prom and I was totally smitten.



I am writing this post more for myself than anything. I am finding that my memories of those days are fading more each year, and I want to keep them a bit longer. Perhaps one day my kids will want to know more about my younger days.



This is the 1973 Stevenson High School Senior prom at the Mayflower Meeting House in Plymouth, Michigan. The theme was "Old Fashioned Love Song." Yes, those are genuine crushed velvet tuxes in the photo!



This is our portrait taken at the prom. I think it set me back five dollars.






A lot of my friends complained later that they didn't have much fun at the dance, but we three couples cut loose and had a blast. Here are Sue and Arthur, and Kathy (now known as Kathy the Brainiac!) and Mike.


While scanning the photos for this post I felt a lump of sadness in my heart. It was so long ago and so much water has flowed under the bridge, but it came back to me how I really cared about Richard. The prom was our first date. I never have laughed so much as I did with him. He was my first love, became a dear friend and I miss him. I wrote about him awhile back here.

So now here I am 35 years later helping my own daughter prepare for her prom. I wonder if Alex and the rest of her friends will play as big a role in her life as my friends have in mine?

It hit me that it's a real possibility, which makes me realize how close Shelby is to adulthood. I'm not sure how I feel about that. That would be a good topic for another post, but I don't want to think about that right now.

I'll think about it in the morning! (Maybe.)

Goodbye Richard Defoxxe...

It is never easy to say goodbye to a friend, but it is even harder when you don’t have the opportunity to say it.

I lost one of my best friends less than two months after Andy died.

Rick and I were high school flames. We even talked of marriage, broke up, got back together, broke up… but somehow remained friends in spite of this. Eventually as the years unfolded the truth came out… Richard was gay. He loved me as much as he could, but we truly lived in two different worlds.

When I moved to Oklahoma, Rick became another one of my dear telephone-call/Christmas card buddies back in Detroit. We never lost touch. It was a very sad day for me when he sent a newspaper article about a gay man and his partner living with HIV. The article was a true story… about him.

Rick’s caring and support meant so much to me during Andy’s last months. He already knew that his condition, too, was terminal, but that didn’t stop him from giving us cheery phone calls, sending silly cards and little gifts, and filling boxes with candy for the kids.

I knew he was struggling badly during Andy’s last two weeks. I also knew that I did not have enough of me to go around. Andy needed me desperately, and I didn’t have the energy to return Rick the favor of kindness he had been showing me. I couldn’t even return his calls. I still pray that I didn’t hurt his feelings…that he understood why…

By the time Andy passed away, Rick was living in a world of severe confusion, high fevers, and depression. When I called, he could only say that he was sorry… and I was not even sure if he knew who was calling or what I was saying. A few short weeks later he, too, was gone.

There were no services, not even a memorial gathering. My heart was so heavy… I felt like I had been forced through circumstances to abandon my friend, and then I couldn’t even say goodbye.

Rick continued to drift in and out of my mind. His mother died a couple of years ago, and that news saddened me, mostly because it brought back old memories. I remembered things like how back in our high school days I used to stop by his house while he was at work and tie a ribbon around the tree in his front yard. He always got a kick out of it, and mentioned how his mother would carefully straighten the ribbons if they were messed up. She lived in that same house to the end of her life, and it is still in the family to my knowledge.

On the way back from Maine, Arthur and I spent a couple of days in the Detroit area. One day we drove past Rick’s old street and I suddenly had a bright idea. I was driving, so I told Arthur to hang on tight… I was a woman on a mission!! :) I zipped into a Hallmark store and purchased a spool of ribbon and a fabric rose. Then I zipped back to Rick’s street, pulled in front of the house, and proceeded to tie the ribbon on the tree. For added flair I tucked the flower into the ribbon.

When I stepped back to admire my handiwork, I noticed that the perennial gardens that Richard had tended with such care are still beautiful even 5 years later. I finally was able to say my goodbye, and I have peace knowing that beauty lives on.


In memory of Richard “DeFoxxe” 10-23-1954 - 4-24-2002