As we begin our new lives together...

***
June 26, 2004

“You dried my tears, and brought me joy that I never thought I would find again. Stephanie, I know that Andy will forever be in your heart, and I will honor that always. Today as we begin our new lives together as husband and wife, I give you the same promise that you kept with him: ‘Until death do us part.’ You are the friend of my youth, and I love you.”

“You dried my tears, and brought me joy that I never thought I would find again. Arthur, I know that Sue will forever be in your heart, and I will honor that always. Today as we begin our new lives together as husband and wife, I give you the same promise that you kept with her: ‘Until death do us part.’ You are the friend of my youth, and I love you.”


***

Wedding Photos: Click Here

We are married!!!

WE DID IT!!!

Arthur and I are officially hitched. (I made a seperate post with photos)

We thought the wedding was going to be a total disaster, because everything went WRONG for two hours before. First, a big chunk of the wedding cake fell off as we were decorating the reception room. We fixed it, but that should have been our first clue that this was not going to be a smooth day.

The people who run the chapel forgot to unlock it, and we had to run around to find the university campus police to open it. The florist couldn't find the bridesmaids bouquets, so they had to hurry up and make new ones. The flower girl's flowers were missing completely, and so she carried a single rose. Nobody could find the unity candles. Jimmy had go rush out to buy new ones.... while on the way to get MY MOTHER, who Arthur and Allen had forgotten to pick up!!!

The runner was forgotten at home, I forgot my necklace, the guestbook was never put out, the musician almost had to leave for another wedding because we were late starting because of the mishap with my mother, and the priest had an attack of angina.

But, when the wedding finally started, it went pefectly from start to finish. The reception was wonderful, and we had a great wedding day after all.

Tomorrow we leave on an almost-3-week honeymoon to Niagara Falls, parts of southern Canada, and the Michigan Upper Peninsula. Photos to follow.

Wedding rehearsal

Photo taken: June 25 2004

Does Mykayla have any idea how cute she is??? :)

Behind her is Victoria, Shelby, me (in the hat my nurse friends at work made me... it worked great for the rehearsal!) and Kathy.

About living in the present...

Lots of thoughts and emotions.

I am forcing myself to live in the present.

The past is unobtainable, and there is too much pain in the not-so-distant past. I look at the photos, the memories, then tuck them safely away for another day. I shed tears, and still feel grief. So does Arthur after 10 years. (That makes me shiver.)

The future is before me. I am about to leap into the world of 'until death do us part' once again. But, I now know the full impact of those words. I don't want to look into the future. I know what it can mean. I know what it will eventually hold for one of us.

For that reason, I am living one day at a time. Is that good? Am I in denial? I don't know. But, it is too scary for me to do otherwise.

"The Journey" home from Chicago

Something awesome happened to me on the way home from Chicago.

Shelby and I spent the weekend in Chicago with a bunch of my friends from the young widow online group. One of my good online buddies is Carol S. Carol just recently had a book published about her love and life with her husband Joe.

You all know that I am a believer of "signs," and I have received several that I can't explain other than to say "Andy must have sent them!" However, this time I think I received a sign from Carol's husband, Joe!

Before we left Chicago, Carol presented me a copy of her book of Joe's journal "The Journey," beautifully inscribed for me and Arthur. I was thrilled, touched, and couldn't wait to read it!

It was a great way to spend several hours on the train. I was moved to tears many times, but I am used to weeping in public since Andy's death, so I was not embarrassed in the least. I especially enjoyed the passage where Joe tells Carol "Whenever you see a butterfly, think of me."

I read the book from cover to cover, and finished it about an hour before we arrived at Union Station in Fort Worth. When we arrived, Shelby and I toted our luggage into the station, and sat near a door where there was an outlet for me to recharge my cell phone. Just after we sat down, a huge, beautiful brown and orange butterfly flew right by us, and landed on the door to the outside. He beat on the door with his wings several times, so I told Shelby "I think he wants out." She opened the door, and he flew away!

About two hours later, we boarded the train to Oklahoma City, joyful that our trip was almost over. When we we passed over the highway as we left the station, I looked down, and there, flying along I-35 heading to Oklahoma City, was a huge brown and orange butterfly! Was he the same one we saw earlier???

I believe Joe was happy that I read and was touched by his story, and was guiding us home. I also think he wanted me to tell Carol what happened (which I did)... as another message to her about how pleased he is how beautifully the book turned out.

Thank you Carol and Joe.