Instant friends

I was in the waiting room at my dentist when an elderly woman came out of the examining room. She chatted with the receptionist for a minute, and said something about "I am so forgetful these days."

Then, for some reason she turned toward me and gave me a sad smile. She continued, "I can't seem to remember anything or keep my head on straight." Her eyes filled with tears. "I just lost my husband 3 weeks ago, and I don't know what I am doing." I replied, "I know what you mean. I remember feeling the same way when my husband died almost four years ago."

Her eyes flew to meet mine. It was that sudden connection of two who have felt the same pain. Even though we were a generation apart, the instant bond was unmistakable. "OH!! You know how it is then!" She really teared up at this point, and asked "Please, please tell me. Does it ever get better?" This lady, a stranger, an instant friend, so much older than me was looking to ME for answers.

What could I tell her? This was not a time to talk about future joys. This was no time to discuss healing, or mention my newlywed status.

I remembered the words of a friend of mine on the young widow site, and this is what I said:

"I promise, you will not always feel the way you do now." Then I added, "You will always love him and remember him. This has been mine and other widowed friends' experience."

Then it occured to me: perhaps this was Karma coming around full circle. Our dentist herself has walked in our shoes. Dr. H. lost her husband during her last year of dental school, while her kids were in middle and high school. I remember asking HER during my early days if it ever became better! She was also Andy's dentist, and I have always considered myself close with she and her staff. I called her office the day he died. Dr. H. accepted the call herself, and gave me her personal cell number. She told me to call her anytime, even in the middle of the night, and assured me she meant it. She also sent me a copy of the book "A Grief Observed," and wrote that the book had been her best friend in the early months.

I began thinking that maybe dental offices have healing karma. That thought even makes a root canal seem more appealing!

The moment was ended by the receptionist calling my name. As I went in for my appointment my new friend turned to leave and earnestly said, "Thank you and God Bless."

Tonight she and all those who are grieving are in my prayers.