My hair dryer is broken.No big deal, I can always buy another one.
But... but...
this hair dryer has a memory attached.
It was February of 2002. After almost three months in the hospital, Andy had been on a roller coaster of stabilizing, followed by another downward slide. He had only days left, but I didn't want to admit that's what was happening. Inside, though, I knew the truth.
His condition was so fragile that I knew I needed to stay that night, but because he had changed so rapidly I wasn't prepared. Kathy sat with him while I dashed across the street to Walmart and returned with a few hastily purchased goodies.
I tied a Valentine balloon to the foot of his bed, showed him my new sleep shorts, then on a whim I took the last bag, gave it to him and said, "Now hand this to me and say Happy Valentine's Day!"
Andy peered inside, saw what it was, and smiled his characteristic sly smile. Then he handed it to me and said, "Happy Valentine's Day Honey!"
As I pulled a box out of the bag I made a big dramatic fuss; "Oh Honey! A new hair dryer! How did you know that's what I really wanted?" and we laughed together about this bit of silliness.
It was the last time we ever laughed together.
Anyway, yesterday I tried to dry my hair but the dryer wouldn't come on. Both Arthur and I tried everything we could think of to make it work, but nothing has helped.
Like I said, I can buy another one. But it won't be the same.
Stupid hair dryer.
4 comments:
Stupid, stupid hair dryer.
It made me cry. Because I know exactly why this hair dryer has no right to not work.
Stupid, stupid hair dryer.
Ali
Oh Stella...this made me cry. I'm sorry.
Stella,
The thing is, you have (and will always have) the memory (which you have shared with us here) that is attached to that old hair dryer. So, you don't really need the hair dryer.
I have found that keeping some things around has made it more difficult and so I've let a lot of the things go. The memories, though? Those I'll keep forever.
(((Hugs)))
Thanks for the understanding.
I think that's one big reason I keep this journal, I'm afraid that as the material things wear out the memories will slip away. That may not be the case, but the fear is there.
The next thing to go is the dishwasher. It's not working very well. I remember us going together to pick it out... you know.
It's going to be ok. The moments like these are few and far between the happy moments nowadays.
(((HUGS))) to all of us.
Love,
Stella
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