A memory of July 4th, 2000

Here we are, all decked out in our matching shirts.

Yellow Roses for Me

There are a lot of things that need to be taken care of after a loved one dies, but I had one that my career was dependent upon.

Kathy and I began taking classes toward a BSN degree in October of 1998. I still had 6 credit hours left to complete for my BSN when Andy fell ill in the spring of 2000. I had already gone through the commencement ceremonies. (Thank God, because Andy was there with me.)

I had to drop the summer classes I was enrolled in, and was unable to complete my degree before his death. He died in February, and I HAD to complete my Bachelors degree by May, in order to renew my teaching certificate and keep my job. (A school nurse in Oklahoma is required to carry a teaching certificate. I was working under a provisional certificate that was only valid for 2 years.)

After much discussion with the University, I decided to try to take 3 CLEP exams. I took them 6 weeks after I buried my sweetheart, and passed all 3!

I felt Andy with me on May 7... the day I found out I passed the exams. That day the sickly yellow rose bush in my yard that barely ever bloomed was covered from to to bottom with yellow roses!

Memorial Day cookout: In memory of Andy

Photos include: Mary Kay and Cactus, Pat and Rosemarie, Kathy and Terry D, Doug and Marilyn R, Jimmy, Margaret R, Frances, Shonda, and of course.... Wayne!

The Story of Methuselah's Mother

This is Margaret R.

(Stephanie's Mom.)

Andy began calling her "Methuselah's Mother" a number of years ago. (This was his sweet way of saying that she was older than Methuselah!) He even bought her a dogtag for Christmas with that name inscribed!

She then started referring to herself as "Methuselah's Mother-in-law." to jab back at him. I think that was more appropriate, because I am certainly NOT Methuselah!!!

Birthday gifts from my husband

Mother’s day and my birthday always fall within a week of each other. This year, they were 3 days apart. I received some special gifts this year from my Sweetheart. Let me tell you about them!

For Mother’s Day, I was given a card and a really cool garden squirrel figurine by Andrea, Adam, La Chelle and Nathan. I had a greeting on this site from Gladys, and Piccola and Gene. I received a call from Bear that day, “Stephanie, just called to wish you a happy Mother’s Day…” I had also received a call from him the previous week. After chatting for almost an hour, he confessed the true reason for his call: he had heard that there was a terrible car wreck here in OKC, and wanted to check on me to make sure I was OK. In addition, I had frequent notes of support from many of Andy’s other family members during the past months.

For my birthday, I received a beautiful card in the mail from Elmer and Marilyn. There was an online greeting from Andrea, and an E-card from Kim that said that she knew that he was celebrating for me in heaven, and that he would find a special way to let me know that is thinking of me.

I also received beautiful cards and greetings from my own family and my friends, but had it not been for Clarence Andrew Waller, I would never have known any of the rest of his family. Having his family in my life is a gift to me. Thanks, Honey! And, thanks to you all!

A good birthday memory of mine

On my 35th birthday, Andy asked me to go out to dinner. He told me that he was in the mood for pizza, and I had no real preference, so I agreed to go to Peter Piper's with him. When we were seated, one of our good friends showed up so we invited him to sit with us. Then another friend showed up, then another... then suddenly it occured to me that THIS WAS A PARTY!!! A total of 12 more people showed up, and we had a BLAST!

(I teased him from then on: "What would you have done if I had decided I didn't want pizza that night???")

Remembering our very favorite thing to do together...

The State Fair was always one of the highlights of the year. We never missed it! The whole family always went, but we purposely had different folks in each pic. Note in '90 I was very much "with child."


Here are the next few years. As usual, a different cast of characters each year. In '94, neither Andy or I were there, I had given birth to John Henry the day before! Notice in '98 we all had matching shirts.
Andy never appeared in these again. In 1999 he was too busy eating his Indian Taco. In 2000 he was very ill in the hospital. 2001 the Shriners were not there to make the buttons. Bummer.

Miracle or coincidence??????

Everybody might think I am crazy after this post, but I have to let everybody see this. First, here is the original page from my phone book with our "pager codes." When we both were working, we each had pagers. We worked out this code system to make life easier. After he took his medical leave we still used to page each other 222-2222 to say we were thinking of each other. He paged them to me frequently... sometimes 5 times a day...even up to 3 days before he died (coincidentally 2/22/2002) which was the last hour we were apart 'til the end.

One day about 2 weeks ago, I hit a very low point. I was at work, and had to spend much of my day in the restroom, sobbing and crying. I prayed "I need to know he is still thinking of me. Does he miss me? Does he still love me?? A few 2's would be nice." Then I told myself to stop being so silly!!

I finally was able to go on with my day, and by the time I left I had almost forgotten my crying jag in the bathroom. THEN... on my way to the freeway home, I saw this billboard. The picture on the left is how I first saw it...!

When I arrived home I tried to look up the phone number in the yellow pages, but the listing was so new that it wasn't even in the phone book yet! It is for a heating and cooling company called ARS. (hmmmm... "Andy Reaching Stephanie?" lol)

I went back to the billboard and took pics of it so folks wouldn't think I am a few slices short of a loaf. (Well, I might be, but not about this! )

Coincidence? Or is God and/or my Honey letting me know he is OK?

Our first year together

We always had so much fun! I miss him...

The first photo of us together

Here I am, giving him a back rub. This was taken at the hospital in 1985, when he was "just a patient." He had to be on his stomach in this bed for 4 months. Back then, nurses actually had time to give back rubs!

Andy was a good friend, not only to me, but to all the nurses on the unit. Many a nurse would come in his room, close the door, and proceed to tell him about their problems. He always had sound advice, and plenty of sympathy.

Things Andy Loved

Me.
Babies.
Children.
Yellow Roses.
Romance.
Coffee.
Bacon.
Cow, red beans, fried 'taters.
Taco Bell.
Coke.
Dr. Pepper.
Suppertime.
Louis Ll'amour.
John Wayne.
Hank, Waylon and Willie.
Country music.
Garfield.
The USA.
Oklahoma ("God's Country.")
Being appreciated.
Wild Turkey Whiskey (but he loved me more, so he gave it up.)
Smoking.
Vanilla or Mountain High Pipe Tobacco, or a good cigar. (cigars outside!!!)
Watching the 10 o'clock news with me.
Traveling.
Coming home after vacation.
CB radios.
Nice restaurants.
Leather working.
His friendship bracelets.
Belt buckles.
Dogs.
Squirrels.
Tinkering.
Tools.
Trucks.
Dancing. (He missed that terribly after his injury, but he still could do a mean swing.)
Picking out just the right gift.
Honey buns and doughnuts.
Cheese, chocolate and cobblers.
Big Time Wrestling.
Swatting flies.
Thunderstorms.
Sitting in the garage, watching thunderstorms.
Driving.
Driving in the rain.
The latest electronic gizmos.
Double solitare… almost any card game.
His yard.
His garage.
His ring.
His family. (And he never chose them merely based on blood relations.)
Watching his kids perform, or play sports.
Teaching the kids things… from tying their shoes to working on cars.
His friends.
Teasing everybody.
Watches and pocket knives.
Making me smile.
The State Fair.
Eating at Jimmy's Egg
Email.
Western boots and clothes.
Reading to the kids.
Learning new things.
The Greek Festival.
Shooting the bull with his guy friends.
Anniversaries at the Red Lobster.
Holding hands.
Raisins.
Being special in our eyes.
His "Man Upstairs."


Things he didn't like


Chicken
Pasta
Mushrooms (called them "toadstools")
Neck ties.
Lazy people
Child abusers.
People who whine.
Cats.
Honeysuckle. (but he planted some for me, because he knew I liked it.)
Hurting anybody's feelings.
Anybody who was mean to me, or our kids.
Most vegetables.
Enemies of our country.
Excuses.
Holiday fuss.
Pepsi
7-Up
Being alone too long.
Seeing the kids get shots.
"Chick-Flicks." (I think it is because they always made him cry!)
Speaking in front of a crowd, or being the center of attention.
Fussing and arguing.
An ice cube down his back, or cold hands on him.
Writing letters.
Cockroaches.
Flies.
Needles.
Chewing gum.
Telephone solicitors.
Anything that took time away from the family.
Seeing me cry.
Yappy little dogs.
Reading Dr. Seuss books.
Pink ice cream.
Pink in general.
Clothes with polka dots.
Board games. (Except Chess.)
Broken promises.
Hospitals.
Most doctors.
Having his picture taken.
Losing his father at age 13.
Cod liver oil.
Messy trees.
Any body trying to boss him around.
Doing dishes, or washing windows. (But he did those things for me when I was in school.)
Most rodents.
Traffic tickets.
Ordering at a drive-thru speaker.
People who cause trouble.
Losing his mother at age 45.
Losing anybody he loved.
Being sick.
Leaving us.

Creating our Garden: 1996

This garden was a labor of love. We all worked on the brick flower bed. (Admittedly, Jimmy did most of that.) Andy tilled most of the yard. (I wish I had photos of that!) I planted most of it, and we had occasional assistance from Bear, Chris O'Connor, and Uncle Gary. The garden has fallen to ruin the past 2 years, but I am going to bring it back this year to honor my Honey who helped me make this beautiful place.

Date Taken: Top pic (building the flower bed) Fall 1996, bottom 5, Summer 1998

Old letters part 2

Old letter part 1

Andy's sister gave us a bunch of old letters and things after his mother died. This is a poem Andy sent to his mother from Germany. I so wish he were alive so I could find out the details about this poem. I don't know whether he composed it himself or not, but I can't find it anywhere on the internet. Maybe he did.

Andy's smoked ham recipe

Title:
Andy's Favorite Southwestern Smoked Ham

Description:
I will never forget the wonderful smoked meat Andy used to prepare for us. He originally used to do the smoking on a barbeque grill. (Wow that was a lot of work!) He only was able to use the smoker he got for his birthday one time, but oh how wonderful the ham and turkey turned out. This is the recipe Andy used for the Thanksgiving Ham (and Dr. Grode's ham). He even peeled the peppers himself! What a man.

Here is the recipe in his own handwriting. (Scroll down for the printed recipe.)

Ingredients:
One 10 pound fresh ham
6-8 dried chipotle chiles
1 red bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
2/3 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup honey
1/3 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
1/3 cup dried minced onion
1/4 cup black pepper
1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped finely
8 cloves garlic, cut into small pieces
2 tablespoons ground chipotle chile
4 teaspoon salt


Directions:
Mix together the pepper, ground chipotle, minced onion, salt, and parsley. Skin and remove excess fat from ham. Rub with mixture. Prepare smoker for a 8-10 hour smoke at about 200 degrees. Soak several large chunks of hickory and add to fire once the coals are ready. Cut several 1 inch deep holes into the ham and insert garlic pieces. Place in smoker. Add additional hickory chunks as needed, about every four hours. While ham is smoking prepare sauce. Cook and mince chipotle chiles as directed on package. Roast bell peppers over open flame until blistered on the surface. Place in cold water to chill. Peel bell peppers and chop into small pieces. Place in large bowl. Add chipoltes, honey, vinegar and cilantro. Stir together and let sit at room temperature. After 8-10 hours of smoking check the ham for doneness. The middle of the ham should be 160 degrees. Remove from smoker and let stand for about 20 minutes. Cut into 1/2 inch thick slices and serve with sauce.


Number Of Servings:15-20

Preparation Time:45 minutes to prepare, 8-10 hours to smoke

More musings...

My calendar has also served me as an unofficial diary. Here is the page from the last two days of Andy's life. No other words are needed.

Musings about the final days

Andy fought with every fiber in his being to live, but I don't think he feared death ever during his long illness. It was just that he enjoyed life and loved us so much!! He hated to give it up.

One conversation that really stands out in my mind is one we had the Saturday before his death. He was just home from the hospital, and he was sitting in the bed in the dining room, quietly surveying his surroundings. He had a very far away look on his face, one that I had never seen before.

I said, "Honey, are you sad?"

It took him a moment to focus on me, and then he very deliberately spoke: "Oh, no... not at all. I am very... content."

Couples often speak in shorthand. That brief conversation translated:

Me: "Honey, are you sad you are dying?"

Him: "No, I am glad I made it home before I leave."

To me, his words were a gift.

I love you Honey.

My RN Pinning Ceremony

I give this man so very much credit for helping me through RN school, and then later, getting my 4 year degree. He cooked, cleaned, did laundry, watched kids and helped me study. This is when I received my Associates Degree in Nursing from OSUTB. I love you, Honey.

With Mykayla: Spring 2001

This is one of the last photos ever taken of Andy, and it is a good one. We had his bed in the dining room so he could be right in the thick of things.

Bear and Kelly brought Mykayla for a visit. Contrary to what Andy said, he was never happier than when he had one of his kids or grandkids with him.

Andy-ism's

Andy always had a warped sense of humor, and so MANY colorful phrases.

I am tired of crying. Let's try to smile and remember for awhile:


Andy “isms”


Nick names for:

Frances; “Frankie”
Andrea; “Annabelle”
Andy: “Bear”
Jimmy: “Motor mouth”
Shelby: “Stinky” or “Shelbygirl”
John Henry “John-John” the fastest “Wah-wah” in the West
Lesley: "The Michigan Tomato"
The parakeet: “Feather head”
His plant: “Morris”
Tom girl : “Wuppy”
His mother-in-law: “Methuselah’s Mother”
My ex: “Monsignor”
Kathy’s ex: “Materdee the Mormon”

“Daddy! My finger hurts!”
Andy: “Well, I don’t feel anything.”

Me: "Honey, do you want to eat out tonight?" Andy: "Might as well, can't dance."

“Where are we going, Daddy?”
Andy: “Down the street.”

“Daddy, I want that.”
Andy: “Want in one hand and spit in the other, and see which one gets full first.”

“Daddy, I’m hungry!”
Andy: “Hello, Hungry, I’m Daddy.”

When dressing for church: "Where are my Sunday-goin-to-meetin' clothes?"

When the kids acted up: “These are all YOUR kids!” (and that included any child that was present!)

or

"I do not like children. There ought to be an island where they go when they are two years old, and they live until they are 18!"

( while he secretly fussed and worried about all the kids)

When David was drooling a lot as a baby, Sherri wondered how to help. His solution: ... "Tie a rope
around his neck tight." Sherri gasped: "He'll stop breathing!" DADS ANSWER:... "HE'LL STOP SLOBBERING TOO."

He also used to say "Honey, when we retire, we are going to sell the house and buy a motor home. Then, we will park our motor home in one of the kid's driveway until they run us off. Then we will park in the next kid's driveway. Then at the end of the year, we will start over!"

When somebody was on the phone with a disagreeable person: “You know, there is a
magic button on the phone. You just push the button, and everybody shuts up!”

Me:“Honey, I don’t believe this!” Andy: “Well, the truth will set you free!”

While making plans: “If the Lord’s willin’ and the creek don’t rise.”

When annoyed, or to kid around: “I’m gonna dot your eye.”

Me: “Behave yourself, Honey!” Andy: “I AM being haive!”

God was always respectfully referred to as “The Man Upstairs.”

Child: “Hey, Daddy, guess what?” Andy: “You’re a frog and I’m not?”

Me: “uh…well….” Andy: “That’s an awful deep subject for such a shallow mind.”

Child: “What is that fer?” Andy: “Cat fur to make kitten britches. Wanna wear ‘em?”

When annoyed: “I’m gonna dough-pop that guy.”
Or “Move over, Rastus!” or “Out of the way, Dogbreath!”

Being silly: “I’m gonna unscrew your belly button, and your legs will fall off.”

Kids: “Ewww…. Something smells bad!” Andy: “Must be your upper lip.”

When driving fast: “Say wa-HOO, Honey!!!!”

When he was in his wheelchair going down a ramp, he would hold his arms out like an airplane, and chortle"ZOOMIE zoomie zoomie!!!"

Whenever somebody said "If only..." He would say "If only a frog had wings, he wouldn't
bump his butt so much."

When not quite believing a statement: “Well, if you say so… but only if you say so…” Or:
“That sounds like a Shelby Story.”

The new wife of my ex-husband was dubbed my “Wife-in-law.”

Me: “Hey, I like that.” Andy: “Me too, also.”

When problems arise: “It’ll all come out in the wash.”

When complaining about something his sentence ALWAYS began: “It’s got to the point
that…..”

Kathy reminded me of this one: It was not a "ditch" at the side of the road, it was always a "BAR-ditch." What in the heck is a bar ditch anyway???

A band-aid is a “Boo-boo cover.”

Deodorant was "Anti-Stinky."

Cologne was "Smelly-good-stuff."

Bear remembered this one: "How are you doing, Dad?" answer: "Oh, fair to middlin', I guess."

If anybody else can think of more, please email me, and I will add them!

Andy's Memory Folder

Actually, he was born in Grand Prairie, TX. I told them before they printed this, but they still put Fort Worth. I don't know why.

Andy's Essay about Sheba

This is an essay that Andy wrote in 1988 when he was taking Comp I at the Community College. I think it is interesting insight into how he felt. Some of his essays were quite humorous, although this one is one of his more serious ones.


K-9 Companions

Clarence Andrew W.

O and W Comp


Have you ever dropped anything and had a hard time picking it up? I have. Of course, that may have to do with the fact that I am in a wheelchair, but I can remember it happening even when I was up. Everybody has a hard time reaching the floor now and then.

About 2 years ago I heard about a program that trained dogs to help the handicapped. In case you wonder, it is not always easy being confined to a wheelchair.

The companion dogs are trained to help their owners open doors, turn on lights, carry things, and pull them if needed. There are many things that you can teach a dog, but they should be taught whatever you really need them to do. In my case, I can do most things myself, but it is nice to have a dog trained to help me.

There are dogs trained to assist the blind, the deaf, and the wheelchair bound. Seeing as I am in a wheelchair, I was interested in the dogs that work with wheelchairs. They had a lot of dogs to choose from. They have Poodles, Golden Retrievers, and Labradors to name a few.

After I figured out what breed of dog I wanted, then they told me what it would cost. It really sounds good to be able to write away for a trained dog, but there are a few catches to a venture like that. Sure, you can do that, but they also want you to visit their establishment. Not only do you have to pick up your dog, but you have to spend 2 weeks there. According to them, it takes a couple of weeks for the new owner to learn what the dog already knows, such as what commands to give for the dog to do what ever you want him to do. To me, that seemed like a lot of unnecessary rig-a-marole to go through. When they started talking five thousand dollars, give or take, which turned me against them real fast. Sure, I liked the idea of having one of their dogs, but there was no way I was going to spend that kind of money on a dog.

About that time, I started looking for someone here in Oklahoma to train a dog for me. That turned out to be quite a job in itself. There are a lot of guard training kennels here, but I did not want my dog trained to bite people. After a lot of phone calls I finally found a trainer here in the state who said that he would try. I had already bought a Golden retriever-Labrador mix about 9 months earlier that I knew would be good for what I wanted. It took two different trips to the trainer's to get the results I wanted, but now at least my dog will do the things that I require.

My dog's name is Sheba, and she weighs about eighty pounds. She picks things that I may have dropped, or things that are on the ground, and brings them to me. Unlike the dogs trained in California my dog is not super trained with a lot of commands that I, myself, do not understand. She knows what she is supposed to do and she really likes to work with me.







Sheba was waiting on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge for Andy when he passed away. She had developed paralysis in her hind legs about 4 years prior that progressed to where her organs were failing. We made the decision to have her put to sleep when one night she dragged herself through the house to get to Andy's bedside. We both cried buckets of tears as they gave her the shot, and we were both with her when she died.

The people who trained Sheba are still in the training business, and this is a link to their site: American Dog Obedience Center. Sheba was the very first handicapped assist dog that they ever trained!

Andy with Logan

Lesley and Billy brought Logan to see the family for Christmas, 2000. Andy loved nothing better than holding babies, despite what he would say about it!

Unbelievable... but true!

The other day the phone rang, and I answered it. Oh, no... a PHONE SOLICITOR!!!

But, it gets better:

Solicitor: "Good afternoon ma'am, may I please speak with Mr. Andy W?"

Me: "May I ask who is calling please?"

Solicitor: "This is Mr. A from XYZ company. I need to speak to him about our latest product."

Me: "I'm so sorry to tell you this, Mr.W passed away 2 weeks ago."

Solicitor: "Oh, I'm sorry.....well........Um, would YOU be interested in learning about our product??"

Me: CLICK!!!!!!

What a bunch of clowns!!!

This was taken in February 1986. The girls (Frankie, Annabelle, and Holley) and their friends dressed up their dad and themselves just for fun!




Was he a good sport, or just plain crazy??? :)