Andy-ism's

Andy always had a warped sense of humor, and so MANY colorful phrases.

I am tired of crying. Let's try to smile and remember for awhile:


Andy “isms”


Nick names for:

Frances; “Frankie”
Andrea; “Annabelle”
Andy: “Bear”
Jimmy: “Motor mouth”
Shelby: “Stinky” or “Shelbygirl”
John Henry “John-John” the fastest “Wah-wah” in the West
Lesley: "The Michigan Tomato"
The parakeet: “Feather head”
His plant: “Morris”
Tom girl : “Wuppy”
His mother-in-law: “Methuselah’s Mother”
My ex: “Monsignor”
Kathy’s ex: “Materdee the Mormon”

“Daddy! My finger hurts!”
Andy: “Well, I don’t feel anything.”

Me: "Honey, do you want to eat out tonight?" Andy: "Might as well, can't dance."

“Where are we going, Daddy?”
Andy: “Down the street.”

“Daddy, I want that.”
Andy: “Want in one hand and spit in the other, and see which one gets full first.”

“Daddy, I’m hungry!”
Andy: “Hello, Hungry, I’m Daddy.”

When dressing for church: "Where are my Sunday-goin-to-meetin' clothes?"

When the kids acted up: “These are all YOUR kids!” (and that included any child that was present!)

or

"I do not like children. There ought to be an island where they go when they are two years old, and they live until they are 18!"

( while he secretly fussed and worried about all the kids)

When David was drooling a lot as a baby, Sherri wondered how to help. His solution: ... "Tie a rope
around his neck tight." Sherri gasped: "He'll stop breathing!" DADS ANSWER:... "HE'LL STOP SLOBBERING TOO."

He also used to say "Honey, when we retire, we are going to sell the house and buy a motor home. Then, we will park our motor home in one of the kid's driveway until they run us off. Then we will park in the next kid's driveway. Then at the end of the year, we will start over!"

When somebody was on the phone with a disagreeable person: “You know, there is a
magic button on the phone. You just push the button, and everybody shuts up!”

Me:“Honey, I don’t believe this!” Andy: “Well, the truth will set you free!”

While making plans: “If the Lord’s willin’ and the creek don’t rise.”

When annoyed, or to kid around: “I’m gonna dot your eye.”

Me: “Behave yourself, Honey!” Andy: “I AM being haive!”

God was always respectfully referred to as “The Man Upstairs.”

Child: “Hey, Daddy, guess what?” Andy: “You’re a frog and I’m not?”

Me: “uh…well….” Andy: “That’s an awful deep subject for such a shallow mind.”

Child: “What is that fer?” Andy: “Cat fur to make kitten britches. Wanna wear ‘em?”

When annoyed: “I’m gonna dough-pop that guy.”
Or “Move over, Rastus!” or “Out of the way, Dogbreath!”

Being silly: “I’m gonna unscrew your belly button, and your legs will fall off.”

Kids: “Ewww…. Something smells bad!” Andy: “Must be your upper lip.”

When driving fast: “Say wa-HOO, Honey!!!!”

When he was in his wheelchair going down a ramp, he would hold his arms out like an airplane, and chortle"ZOOMIE zoomie zoomie!!!"

Whenever somebody said "If only..." He would say "If only a frog had wings, he wouldn't
bump his butt so much."

When not quite believing a statement: “Well, if you say so… but only if you say so…” Or:
“That sounds like a Shelby Story.”

The new wife of my ex-husband was dubbed my “Wife-in-law.”

Me: “Hey, I like that.” Andy: “Me too, also.”

When problems arise: “It’ll all come out in the wash.”

When complaining about something his sentence ALWAYS began: “It’s got to the point
that…..”

Kathy reminded me of this one: It was not a "ditch" at the side of the road, it was always a "BAR-ditch." What in the heck is a bar ditch anyway???

A band-aid is a “Boo-boo cover.”

Deodorant was "Anti-Stinky."

Cologne was "Smelly-good-stuff."

Bear remembered this one: "How are you doing, Dad?" answer: "Oh, fair to middlin', I guess."

If anybody else can think of more, please email me, and I will add them!