Leaving for Detroit. Happy or not?

Ambivalant feelings...

My upcoming trip to Detroit is going to be difficult. I grew up there, and used to go back about 2 times a year to visit. Andy always drove. He always insisted on doing all of the driving on vacations. Although we were generally equal partners in everything, I let him have his way in that area... somehow I enjoyed the feeling of being protected and safe on those road trips.

This is going to be my first trip there since he got sick. I am not at all worried about doing the driving, I always knew that I could do it, no prob. However, I am dreading the "he should be with us" feelings with each landmark we pass.

We made it to New Mexico, Amarillo and Austin last year. Shelby and I made it to St. Louis in April. The hardest, most emotional trip we made so far was the relatively short 3 hours to Altus in March. I just about lost it when we drove into sight of the places that used to make me break into joking songs: "The Everlasting Hills of Oklahoma," and "Deyo." I still remember how Andy would playfully roll his eyes and say "Honeyyyy... MUST you do that?"

I guess if I made it through that, I can make it through this.