So…
here we are back at square one with buying a house.
Arthur and I went out to dinner at Chili’s and had a long discussion over a rare Margarita. (For me. Presidente sized, no less.)
We have come to a rather surprising conclusion. We don’t really want to move after all. He no longer feels like he is living in somebody else’s house, and I no longer see Andy every time I turn a corner. Arthur’s imprint is everywhere now from all the work he has done around this place, and all the things he brought with him from Michigan.
I have mentioned that I never really liked this house much, but over the years made many changes. Now there are things that I really do like, for instance, our huge eclectic living room. :)
The white picket fence that Uncle Donnie put up when we first moved here:
The new entry hall flooring:
Plus there are many other things that photos can’t show, such as the cool shady front yard in the summer, the scent of the honeysuckle in the backyard, the sound of the wind through my wind chimes in the front alcove.
Thus, although our decision is not clad in stone, we are strongly leaning toward keeping this house and together taking out a large home improvement loan in both of our names. Arthur will buy into the house and become co-owner. Then we will do a major remodel; new bathrooms, new kitchen, new laundry. We can have a house that is even better than the one we were planning on buying, spend much less money and not have to go through the hassle of moving. I will continue to update our progress here, because we still need to wait until the probate is complete on May 28 before we can do anything either way. Who knows, we may change our minds in an entirely different direction by then!
Actually, if you think about the newest plan, we will have a different house that is custom made for us. It just will happen to be in the same place the old house was. I suppose even the Hotel California is a great place to live if one makes the decision they want to stay! :)
4 comments:
Funny how, given a little time, decisions can take a different road, eh?
We were considering a move (job-related on my part) that would have taken us to Houston, TX and then, eventually, to Saudi Arabia. But approvals dragged and the extra time (plus time passing) allowed us to reconsider all aspects and decide that it really wasn't what we needed to do or should be doing.
Plus it gives us a little more time to finish fixing up this old house. We still want to move to another place, but now we can do it more at our own pace instead of in a rush.
Things are so unsettled overall in the economy right now as well, and that makes it difficult to undertake a huge change of any kind.
Good luck to you both whichever way you decide to go. I must say, though, that the stress of doing a major renovation is likely greater than "simply" moving. It has been the test of many a relationship.
That's interesting. We live in the house that Rob lived in with Shelley. Last summer I had a bit of a meltdown when I felt that it was a place that had no room for me and things that reflected me. Since we have cleaned out a bit and rearranged and I feel that this is my home. Rob only recently came to the feeling that he is okay being here for a while longer.
We will move someday, sooner than later, but for now we are working to make this home into our home.
Funny how time changes perspective, eh?
I like to think that all things happen for a reason. All the issues with this house might have happened in order to let you reflect on other options. Good luck with whatever you decide :)
I'm all about saving money.
I remember when I was not "Beyond Active Grieving," and I felt like every new thing was a bad thing.
Gradually I came to understand that sometimes a new thing could be a good thing.
And then gradually I came to understand that every new thing was what I made of it, not anything inherit to the "it" itself.
I hope that makes as much sense in writing as it does in my head. It was a long, long day.
And I trust my dear friend Stella to not post this if it's really confusing. Or dorky.
So hugs :-)
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