Letting go, but keeping the love with me

It is less than two months until Shelby's high school graduation and about four months until she leaves home. Lately, she has been restless and impatient with all of us. Understandably, with adulthood looming closely on the horizon, she is ready to shed the restrictions and trappings of childhood.

Little by little, I have been letting her stretch her limits, as long as she follows curfew and house rules. Although a bit challenging to me, her current attitude shows that I am a successful parent. Likewise, my sadness at the thought of her leaving shows that being a successful parent can be a painful thing.

Today the pain came into sharp focus for me. It is time for spring cleaning, and the weather warmed up enough for us to work on the garage. We were sorting through bins, separating things into "keep" and "garage sale" piles. One bin held Shelby's huge collection of stuffed animals, and we both realize that she is not going to need a bunch of plush toys at college. So, one by one we went through them.

"I guess I will keep this pretty beanie baby."

"How about the dog and the ladybug?"

"Nah, they can go."

"And the brown teddy bear?"

"I don't even know where I got him, so I guess he can go."

Then I spied Lamb Chop.

"How about your Lamb Chop?"

Without a thought, she waved her hand, and said "Eh, give it away."

I was already feeling emotional because of all the memories in the bin, and the nonchalant way Shelby discarded her old friend pushed me over the edge. I had been certain that her reply would be something to the effect that she couldn't possibly part with that lamb. Shelby thought I was crying because she was all grown up. I didn't tell her that I was crying over a stupid Lamb Chop doll, and hearing far in the distance a little voice from another time:


~"Momma, where's my Lamb Chop? I want her. She's my Lamb Chop, and I love her..."~


Shelby noticed my tears and gave me a big hug.

"Oh Momma, don't cry."

Her eyes also brimmed with tears.

"Look, I'm always going to be shorter than you. That should make you feel better!"

I looked down at my petite, beautiful, grown up daughter's face, and we both laughed through our tears. Then Alex drove up and the moment was lost. It was time for them to leave for their youth group meeting.

I watched them drive away, and when I turned back to the bin sorting, noticed Lamb Chop still laying on top of the give-away pile. On impulse, I picked her up and held her close, and carried her into the house.

I'm going to put her away in a safe place, and keep her for a special occasion. Someday, in another time far from now, I will give Lamb Chop to Shelby's firstborn. When that day comes, I will say, "Many years ago, when your Momma was a little girl, this was her Lamb Chop, and she loved her..."

~~~