Letting go, but keeping the love with me

It is less than two months until Shelby's high school graduation and about four months until she leaves home. Lately, she has been restless and impatient with all of us. Understandably, with adulthood looming closely on the horizon, she is ready to shed the restrictions and trappings of childhood.

Little by little, I have been letting her stretch her limits, as long as she follows curfew and house rules. Although a bit challenging to me, her current attitude shows that I am a successful parent. Likewise, my sadness at the thought of her leaving shows that being a successful parent can be a painful thing.

Today the pain came into sharp focus for me. It is time for spring cleaning, and the weather warmed up enough for us to work on the garage. We were sorting through bins, separating things into "keep" and "garage sale" piles. One bin held Shelby's huge collection of stuffed animals, and we both realize that she is not going to need a bunch of plush toys at college. So, one by one we went through them.

"I guess I will keep this pretty beanie baby."

"How about the dog and the ladybug?"

"Nah, they can go."

"And the brown teddy bear?"

"I don't even know where I got him, so I guess he can go."

Then I spied Lamb Chop.

"How about your Lamb Chop?"

Without a thought, she waved her hand, and said "Eh, give it away."

I was already feeling emotional because of all the memories in the bin, and the nonchalant way Shelby discarded her old friend pushed me over the edge. I had been certain that her reply would be something to the effect that she couldn't possibly part with that lamb. Shelby thought I was crying because she was all grown up. I didn't tell her that I was crying over a stupid Lamb Chop doll, and hearing far in the distance a little voice from another time:


~"Momma, where's my Lamb Chop? I want her. She's my Lamb Chop, and I love her..."~


Shelby noticed my tears and gave me a big hug.

"Oh Momma, don't cry."

Her eyes also brimmed with tears.

"Look, I'm always going to be shorter than you. That should make you feel better!"

I looked down at my petite, beautiful, grown up daughter's face, and we both laughed through our tears. Then Alex drove up and the moment was lost. It was time for them to leave for their youth group meeting.

I watched them drive away, and when I turned back to the bin sorting, noticed Lamb Chop still laying on top of the give-away pile. On impulse, I picked her up and held her close, and carried her into the house.

I'm going to put her away in a safe place, and keep her for a special occasion. Someday, in another time far from now, I will give Lamb Chop to Shelby's firstborn. When that day comes, I will say, "Many years ago, when your Momma was a little girl, this was her Lamb Chop, and she loved her..."

~~~

Never trust Springtime in Oklahoma

Over the weekend we had an interesting weather development in Oklahoma City. There was a tornado watch and a blizzard warning at the same time! Fortunately, we had no tornado, and the blizzard gave us just a smattering of snow. However, our Northwest neighbors in Woodward, Oklahoma received two feet of the white stuff, with drifts up to seven feet tall.

Although we were lucky to dodge that bullet, my spring flowers were not very happy with the turn of events. Even though the temps were in the 80's a couple of weeks ago, this is why I never turn my back on the Oklahoma weather:

Film Clip Friday: The rest of the "Getting Old" project

This is the fourth and final installment of the "Getting Old" interviews. After four weeks I am ready to move onto other clips. This is pretty long, but here is the rest of the project for those who have been following it. (Sorry, these subjects aren't nearly as cute as the kids! ha ha.)

Sunrise after the Storm

I wish I had my camera this morning. I don't know if this shot I captured with my cell phone begins to show the beauty of the Eastern sky.

In addition to having a job to go to every morning, each sunrise I see while on my way is something for which I'm thankful.




Those are clouds, not mountains! :) They're what's left of the storm that rained all over us last night. Here in Oklahoma, "March Showers bring April Flowers."

My "Wild Side," or Tipsy Shopping at the Dollar Tree

Anybody who knows me well can attest to the fact that I am not much of a drinker. I guess I'm what's known as a "cheap drunk." One drink, and I'm gone! :))

For this reason, I rarely indulge in alcoholic beverages. About once every two or three months, however, I allow myself a margarita with dinner at Chili's. After dinner, Arthur takes me to the Dollar Tree across the street from the restaurant and I go on a Dollar Tree Shopping Spree!

I'll never be rich by anybody's standards, but for a half hour I feel like a celebrity who waltzes into a boutique and purchases anything that catches her eye.

"Wouldn't this piece of framed art look good in the hallway?"

"Oh, look at those garden ceramics! I must have them!"


Etc.


Etc.


Fortunately, I have never regretted a purchase the next day, even though some of the items would not have been what I normally would choose. My inhibitions are released during "tipsy shopping!" :-)

So, now you all have seen my "Wild Side!"

Film clip Friday: "Getting Old" Part 3

Here is Jimmy at age 21. I have to laugh that one answer is identical to Shelby's from last week's clip! :)





This is an especially appropriate film clip, because Today is Jimmy's Birthday!!! HAPPY 31st birthday, my Sun!!! (Ummmm... are you feeling old yet???)


I love you!

Mom

(Here are photos of Jim growing up, if you haven't seen them.)

A MythBuster's experiment

The kids saw this experiment on the TV show MythBuster's. One night when they didn't have anything else to do, they decided to try it themselves.

This is what happens when you put Mento's candies into bottles of Diet Coke.









As you can see, it really does work!

Film Clip Friday: "Getting Old" Part Two

This post includes the second video installment of my class project, just as I promised.

But first, celebrate with me about a bit of good luck! This time I am the winner of the KYIS FM prize package! Remember, last year around this same time Arthur won.

The game was TriBond again. My three words were:

1. Boat
2. 2
3. Turn

The answer?

(drum roll)

U!!!

I will show the prizes here after they have the complete package. Just like last time, they only had some of the prizes ready, so we will have to go back to pick up the rest. I'm certainly not complaining! :) The package is as good, if not better, than the one from last year. Woo HOO!

Now that I have shared that bit of good news with everybody, here is part two of the "Getting Old" interviews. Shelby straightened me out about dates and ages. (See, I'm getting so old that I'm getting all mixed up!) She was eight, John was four, and the year was 1999. That makes it a full 10 years ago!

Anyway, without further ado, heeeeere's Shelby!

The end of Third Quarter: the countdown begins!

The countdown that I'm referring to is leading to Shelby's high school graduation.

I'm trying to stay sane through the rest of this year. It seems like the whirlwind of Shelby's senior year is making the speeding time race by even faster.

Here are a few photo highlights of some events of the past three months not previously posted here:



First, her birthday. I posted a greeting, but forgot to post a photo from this year.





Here she is as delegate with the Southwest Oklahoma Model U.N. She was placed as delegate for Nicaragua.


I think this was a great experience for her. I always wanted to do better in Social Studies, and especially government. Now I can live vicariously through her! (Besides, I may learn a thing or two.)


Then came Winter Formal.


On another occasion last month, she spent the day at the Oklahoma State Capitol where she was able to actually go down on the senate floor. Of course senate was not in session. :) I think what almost topped that for her was she met a local celebrity there, TV news anchor Alex Cameron.













Now for the next two months:
1. Spring Break
2. Graduation announcements delivered
3. Final ACT
4. Cap and gown delivery
5. Senior Prom
6. Senior Honor Banquet
7. Award assembly
8. Baccalaureate
9. Graduation Practice
10. Senior Breakfast
11. Final exams
12. Graduation
13. Multiple grad parties

AAAAAAAAAAAuuuugh!!!!

Orb photos from our album

Many people believe that photo "orbs" are spirits caught on film. Although I'm a believer in "signs" from beyond, I've always been a bit skeptical about the orb business.

These pictures from our album are a bit startling, however.

The first one was taken of me with Arthur's son Dominic on his wedding day. I was unsettled that entire day, because I kept feeling pangs of guilt and sorrow that I was there but my friend Sue, his mother, was not. To honor her memory, Dominic and his bride Jen had chosen her birthday for their wedding day.

From the looks of this photo, perhaps Sue WAS there after all, giving her son a hug through me. There is an unmistakable orb right above us.



Here is a photo of Shelby on the first Christmas after Andy died. There are at least two orbs in this one, although not as clear. (Probably just reflection off the ornaments, but still...!)




This next one isn't as personal, but is very interesting. This is a photo Arthur snapped in 2003 on the 6th floor of the courthouse where he used to work. These are boxes of old traffic tickets. Are the spirits of the people involved in those traffic incidents haunting that room?




I'm still a skeptic, but it is an interesting subject to think about.

Film Clip Friday: John, age Three (oops, he was four!)

Here is a tidbit from a film created for one of my classes during my Bachelor's degree program. I believe the class was called "Psychology through the Lifespan." For the project, I interviewed 8 people ranging in age from 3 to 77 years old, asking them what their impression was regarding old people and getting old.

I will share the rest of the project on YouTube, if anybody interested in seeing the whole thing, but first I'll share my children with my blog buddies. I had a lot of fun with this! It is not a very high tech job, but it was good enough for what I needed at the time. The interviews have funny moments, and the comparisons are very interesting.

First up: John, age four.

OK, so I'm a Twit....

The hottest thing in my kids' virtual world is called "Twitter." It has been around awhile, but has recently hit Oklahoma City in a big way. My children think it's fabulous. I find it to be the ultimate in narcissism.

Any time a Twitter member updates their status, it is instantly transmitted to the computers and cell phones of anyone that is subscribed to their feed. A few examples:

"I am so hungry, I am about to faint."

"My teacher is a nerd."

"I'm so confused right now. He is driving me crazy."

"It's time for bed now. Goodnight."

Today I gave in and signed up for a Twitter account. Now, trust me, I am not planning on twittering every time I sneeze. Actually, I plan on staying pretty quiet.

But, here is my thought on the subject. If the kids are updating their status every five minutes, as a member I will always know what they are up to! And I don't even have to resort to reading a diary! (Not that anybody keeps a diary these days, anyway.)

Oh, did you know that famous (and/or infamous) people have twitter accounts? You can even set up your blog to update via twitter!!!

Don't worry. I'm not doing it! :-)

Film Clip Friday: It's ME! :)

For this second weekly installment I am featuring myself! This is where it all began.



The clip features me and my mom, now known as "Grandma R." She was the most beautiful lady in the world! (Still is, I might add.)

Seven years and Ash Wednesday

"Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return."

Today marks seven years since Andy's spirit left this earth. I find it fitting that the anniversary fell on Ash Wednesday this year.

I have read that our bodies generate all new cells every seven years.

Maybe that's true with skin cells, brain cells, limb cells.

But there are no cells in a soul, and I know for a fact that those of the heart don't change.

I know this because, although it has been seven years since I last kissed him, held him, touched him...

He still resides in every cell of my heart, and I will love him with every breath of my life.

Paczki Day is over

In the little corner of the world where I grew up, Phat Tuesday is known as Paczki Day.

A Paczki (pronounced Poonch-key) is sort of a jelly doughnut cross-bred with a hockey puck, creating a heavy, sweet, greasy, delectable pastry. According to legend, it was invented as a way for the people to use up all the perishable goodies that were not acceptable fare during Lent. This Polish treat is probably in the top 10 most fattening foods in the world! (But well worth every calorie.)

My former hometown newpaper, the Detroit Free Press, had a limerick contest in honor of the lovely Paczki. I composed one, but never sent it in because I couldn't remember my password to the site. However, here is my composition for your reading enjoyment.

(ahem.)

"There is a gal in Okie City
Who misses her hometown so pretty.
For never is seen
fine Polish cuisine.
So no Paczke this year, 'tis a pity."


Well...

It's a good thing I didn't send it in, because it would have been a lie! Arthur found two dozen beautiful Paczki at our local Homeland! Woo Hoo!

(That's my excuse for getting Phatter this week!)

Film clip Fridays

It's a bit late in the day, but here is my newest brainstorm! Because of my wonderful new toy plus thousands of hours of video, starting today I will post a short vintage family video clip every Friday. Future Friday posts will be titled: "Film Clip Friday!"





Today's selection is a clip of my three kids during the short time I had all of them living home. (Jimmy age 17, Shelby age 4, John age 1.) It is much longer than future clips will be, but this product needs to be rushed to market before Friday is over!! Future Friday clips will be apx 1-3 minutes long. Hope you enjoy traveling down memory lane with me. :)

I have a new toy, and I can't stop playing with it!!

It has been a really long time since I bought myself a piece of techno-equipment. This is something I have wanted for a very long time. I'm now the proud owner of a video converter.

Look out, cyberspace! They've created a monster! All those old videotapes that have been mouldering in my closet are taking on a new life, and I can share them with the world! YouTube is going to hate me, I'm sure.

Of course I am going to share here, too. My main problem is choosing which clip to share. How about my dog as a puppy? No? Well, perhaps John and Shelby's toddler swim lessons would be more interesting. Hmmmm, I am beginning to realize that I don't really have much that a wide audience would like to see.

I guess I will ponder on it a bit. In the meantime, I am also converting some of Arthur's old videos, so I'll share a fun one of his.

Did you know Arthur was a gospel singer in his previous life? Yes, really! Here he is singing with a group of his co-workers. If you look real close, he is the guy way in the back on the right, in the striped shirt. I think I'd enjoy this clip even if I didn't know anybody in it, because it is some real feel-good stuff.

The joy of a small success

After several years of sorting and collecting, John finished his 50 state coin map today. The coveted Hawaii quarter that was needed to complete the collection turned up in a handful of pocket change.

Good job, John! And thanks to Grandma who gave him the map for Christmas one year.

Now that the goal has been met, let's see how long it will take before he gives in to the temptation to spend those quarters! :) (Hopefully all that hard work will keep him from cashing them in.)

Fun with Tornadoes!!

During the past two hours a tornado has caused more excitement and damage than anybody would expect in February. That's the thing about living in Tornado Alley, we can never let down our guard, no matter the time of year.

Too much excitement for me! Schools on lockdown, huge hail, rotation circling over my neighborhood and hitting less than a mile away... ugh. Our favorite shopping center and restaurant is badly damaged along with Shelby's place of employment. Friends are missing chunks of their roof.

Fortunately, there are no injuries reported.

We are home and safe. John and Shelby gathered up some hail stones but otherwise everybody is hanging close.





It sounds like the weather fun is just beginning. There is a whole line of storms still heading for us! I'm getting too old for this....!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update: News this morning is, although the Oklahoma City metro area had no reports of major injuries, there may be as many as 15 people dead in the northeast part of the state. :(

I hate that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Late Lament is my poem for the day

I am joining Annie in a silent poetry reading today. Here is how it works:

What?
A Bloggers (Silent) Poetry Reading

When?
Anytime February 2, 2009

Where?
Your blog (or here in the comments if you prefer).

Why?
Some poetry is warming. It cracks the ice in the heart of the Earth to remind her that spring is just around the corner. … or, if you live south of the equator, choose poetry to cool the heart of the Earth so as to remind her that fall is coming.

How?
Select a poem you like — by a favorite poet or one of your own — to post February 2nd.

What else?
Feel free to pass this invitation to any and all bloggers.

Since it is almost the end of Feb 2nd, I am sure the rules can be loosened a bit. Great poetry will still be good on the 3rd of Feb or beyond! :)

It just so happens that this was running through my head even before I knew aboout todays event. This poem always makes me think of Arthur because I was at his house when I heard it the first time back in the early '70's. Can anybody remember what work this is from? (No fair looking it up on Google!)

Late Lament


Breathe deep the gathering gloom

Watch lights fade from every room

Bedsitter people look back and lament

Another day's useless energy is spent

Impassioned lovers wrestle as one

Lonely man cries for love and has none

New mother picks up and suckles her son

Senior citizens wish they were young



Cold-hearted orb that rules the night

Removes the colours from our sight

Red is grey and yellow white

But we decide which is right

And which is an illusion


~~~~~~~~~~

It is sobering to think that we were young that day we listened to it together so long ago, and today we are almost those "senior citizens" mentioned in the reading. It's enough to give me chills!!

"Shuttin' Detroit Down"

As a former Detroiter living in Oklahoma, the following interview and song by John Rich is perfect for my blog. It is a country song that raises the concerns of many who are near and dear to my heart.

Give it a listen, and comments are welcome.




Oh, and P.S.

Be Patriotic! Buy American!!!! :)

http://www.americansworking.com/

It's a Play Day

There is nothing more cozy than snuggling up at home on an icy cold day with a steaming mug of split pea and ham soup, listening to the sleet pounding on the windows in rhythm with our favorite radio station.

We were hit with an ice storm which has closed our schools today and tomorrow. Perhaps I should feel a bit guilty for being a lazy slug today, I really haven't done anything. Oh, but it feels so GOOD to do nothing for a change!









The kids preferred spending their time playing outdoors. To each his own, I guess.






It would be so nice to be young again! :)

A little something to worry about

Why would anybody steal a snow shovel from an elderly couple?

That is what happened to my inlaws over the weekend. The thieves not only knew their victims were elderly, they laughed at them and ran when my mother-in-law rapped on the window.

Unbelievable, and terribly sad.

Their neighborhood becomes less safe as the years pass. Many neighbors have been broken into, the overburdened police department is slow to respond to calls. We would like to see Mom and Dad move, have offered them help to do so, but they refuse. It is their home of 50-plus years. In many ways, we see their point. Why should they be forced to leave because of neighborhood terrorists?

Still, we pray and worry. We don't know what else to do.

A New President

I was hoping that someday my son Jimmy would become president. This is his first campaign photo, taken in 1988! :)


Since that hasn't happened yet, I congratulate President Obama, and pray for him and our great nation.

This article says a lot: Bring Change Yourselves, America

I am very sensitive...

... and I know it. Over the years I have tried to toughen up, grow a thicker skin, not let myself get hurt. Sometimes I succeed, but still, it smarts when people get mean.

It seems to be getting worse lately. Maybe it is the stress of the current economy or something. But everywhere I go, people are jumping on others. I see it in the stores, in the parking lots, and at work. As hard as I try to avoid it, occasionally a jumper turns me into a jumpee. I don't like it!

I have been told, "Don't take what they say to heart, that is just how they are."

"The problem is you want validation, and you are hurt when you don't receive it."

"You are just too nice!"

That makes it very easy to continue to blame myself for other people's rude behavior.

It is apparent that it isn't just me on the receiving end of the dirty stick. I see the sad look and the defeated attitude of many around me, often caused by the same perpetrators.

Yet, the same solution is repeated to them: "You have to understand, that is just how they (the mean people) are, they are not going to change."

Huh? Let me get this straight.

We who are sensitive are supposed to grow a thicker skin, those who are cruel are supposed to be allowed a pass.

I have decided, starting today, to make sure I truly am treating others the way I wish to be treated. After that, am not going to run from my sensitivity, rather I am going to embrace it. I hope others will join me! If it makes cruel people uncomfortable when feelings get hurt, maybe they will learn something! :)