Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The end of probate brings memories


After all the anxiety caused by having to go through probate, the completion of it was barely a blip on the radar screen. I wasn’t even required to appear in court. Basically, all of this turned out to be merely a costly formality. However, it had to be completed before I could sell or refinance the house.

I was able to pick up the papers the day after the proceedings. I took them to my car to read them in relative privacy, and it was a good thing that I did. When I saw this legal statement regarding Andy’s will, I dissolved into the type of tears that I haven’t cried for several years.


The Court finds and orders that the estate shall be distributed as provided by the last will and testament of deceased Clarence Andrew as follows:

“I hereby give, devisee and bequeath all of my property, real or personal, of every kind and wherever situated, whether vested or contingent at the time of my death to Stephanie…”


The day we signed our wills over twenty years ago, we knew that we were doing the right thing in protecting each other, but we could then put death far out of our minds.

I remember our last detailed conversation, three days before Andy died. As much as we communicated about most things it was so hard for us to discuss his impending death.

“Honey… I know you are fighting as hard as you can, but what if nothing works?”

He gave me his standard reply: “I’m not going anywhere.”

Usually I wouldn’t press further, but today was different. “But what if you do? What if this time you don’t make it? What will I do without you?”

Ever my comforter, he put his arm around me and said, “Don’t worry Honey, you’ll be all right. I signed that paper (an advanced directive) and we have our wills… you and the kids will be taken care of.”

“But that’s not what I mean! You are my world! How will I make it without you? I love you so! If you can, will you be our angel and stay with us?”

He looked worried, like he didn’t want to make a promise that he couldn’t keep.

I continued, “…only if you can, Sweetheart.”

He said he would.

Andy was right. All the legal things have fallen into place, some sooner than others. The kids and I have survived and found that joy is still possible.

Whether real or just our memory of him, our angel is still with us.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Even so many years later, things continue to sneak up on us and slap us across the face.

(((Hugs))) Stella

Anonymous said...

"Basically, all of this turned out to be merely a costly formality."

I think my biggest frustration of recent years is that "they" have found a way to make sure everything - no matter how straightforward - is costly.

But I'm glad yours is complete.