I could have missed the pain...

I had an interesting thought this morning.

I have been wondering since Andy died if I would go through the pain again, if I knew how it would end. Was our love worth it? Could I open my heart, knowing how it would be crushed into pieces?

I believe I have learned the answer. By opening my heart to love again, this proves that I am willing to endure the agony of loss. After all, now I honestly know how I can be ripped apart. I have lived the true meaning of "until death do us part." Love truly is worth the pain.

Therefore, my love for Arthur is a testimony of the strenghth of my love for Andy. That knowlege gives me peace.

I still cried for Andy yesterday. That is another testimony. Love is forever.

"...And I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end,
The way it all would go...
Our lives are better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain,
But I'd of had to miss the dance."

(Thanks to Garth Brooks for putting my feelings to words.)

Arthur's retirement reception!

Big changes coming in 8 days!

The latest news is Arthur is officially retiring from the State of Michigan next week. His last day at work is November 20th. The entire court is having a big party on Wednesday in honor of his 33 years of service. Then on Friday he is flying here to reside in Oklahoma City permanently!

He has rented an apartment about 2 miles from me. Although I have known him so long I could marry him tomorrow, my two youngest kids need to get to know him better. They have already been through lots of changes, so we are going to do this slowly but surely.

Big changes, but I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

A couple of emails

I have a file folder two inches thick with emails. I have spent hours every day on the phone. I have been living on 2 hours of sleep a night and LOVING it!!!

Soon there will be no need for emails.

" Hi Sweet Arthur!

I promise to get in touch with those apartment people today. As soon as they receive your cashier's check I can pick up the key.

This dream of ours is rapidly becoming a reality! Can you believe this??? We saw each other for the first time in 9 years at the end of July. You are moving here permanently at the end of this month. 4 months is all it took us. All the cards fell right. This is meant to be!!

I love you muchly!!!

:)

Stephanie "

" My dearest friend,
I am thinking of us and our future marriage. The past is gone and I hope I have learned from it. You are the focus of my lifes dreams, hopes and aspirations. At the same time we are individuals with our own needs and desires. If we put those thoughts together in our marriage who can defeat us? My life will never be the same again. I want it to be that way.

We are to be a new entity; we are not to be the same as we were 30 years ago. We have grown and become better people. We have children and grandchildren to help and guide now. You and I have changed over the years but my belief is we are better suited for each other now than 30 years ago.

I will love you until the earth is dust and the stars go dim.
Arthur "

The four of us

OK, now that I have given the good news to everybody, I want to share a special photo. This is Andy, me, Arthur and Sue at our 20th High School reunion.

Bittersweet memories. Only the two friends in the center remain...

Arthur and I are Officially Engaged

I had a wonderful time over Fall Break. Arthur flew in from Detroit on October 15th. He had already proposed to me by telephone, but as soon as we arrived at my house he made it official. He hit his knees and presented me with a beautiful diamond solitaire. I was so emotionally overwhelmed that I couldn't stand up, and ended up on my own knees shaking like a leaf. I then gave him star saphire men's ring. He was completely surprised... and very pleased.

That evening I showed him around town, and took him to the OKC National Memorial. It is so beautiful there after dark. While we were out he called his mother and said, "Hi Mom, I'm home!!!" I guess Arthur already likes it here.

Thursday night he and I took my entire family out to dinner in honor of our engagement. It sure makes it nice that everybody already knows each other well.

Friday we put a downpayment on the wedding chapel. We will be getting married at the Y-Chapel of Song on the University of Central Oklahoma campus. Our wedding is officially set for June 26, 2004.

The time went by too fast. He had to fly back Sunday in order to to return to work on Monday. His official retirement date is not until November 21. I hated to see him get back on that plane.

I sent Arthur an email stating that I was already missing him, and that I should have tied him up and kept him here! I shouldn't have let him go back to Detroit after his visit. His reply made me laugh:

" Angel Heart of mine;

If I had stayed after fall break, I'd be fired or suspended for not coming back. (I couldn't retire.) I would most likely lose everything. I would have no car, no furniture, no money, no place to stay. Very few shirts, jeans, underwear, socks, one pair of shoes. My pension might reach me sometime in January, IF I still get it.

But on the other hand I'd have you! And the ring is paid for.

I love you,
Arthur "

Grief and Hope

These are posts by Arthur and I from the Young Widow Bulletin Board. I have been a member since July, '02, and then I introduced Arthur to the BB when I was in Detroit on vacation. The following stories tell about our personal journeys of grief, finding hope, then discovering a treasure in our decades long friendship.

Sept. 16, 2003

A while ago I heard of the website YoungWidow.com. As I went through various topics it dawned on me "I am not alone". There are other people besides me who have endured a loss and somehow continued on. This is my story.

Sue (Suzanne, AKA Sunshine) and I were introduced at square dancing. A friend of
ours had fixed us up. Well needless to say, we became friends, fell in love and married. During 16 happy years of marriage we had 4 boys, including a set of twins. (I am a twin too!)

One Friday night, Sue and I were at home with only one of our sons. He came downstairs where Sue had been sewing, and I was keeping her company. He suggested that we go out somewhere. We thought it was a good idea so we went out for some ice cream. We talked about everything including my plans to bake a black forest torte for Mother's day. She went to sleep in my arms that night.

Saturday morning Sue woke me up for a kiss goodbye. She left to help take of our choir director's elderly mother. Twice a call awakened me to ask, "Where's Sue?" Both times I told her, "She's on her way." After a third phone call, I got dressed and went to see what could be wrong. About 2 minutes later I got off the freeway because it was jammed up. As I drove on the service drive I spotted our bright green car on the freeway's shoulder. Parking the van, I hopped the fence and went up to the car.

There was a man sweeping glass up who didn't even look at me. When I reached the newly red side of the green car, I realized why. All I could say was "Now what do I do with 4 boys?" As I was walking past the State Troopers, one of them called to me asking me to come back to talk with him. My first question was What happened? After checking my ID he replied "Your wife passed away in a single car rollover accident."

I was too numb to think. I went to leave but he stopped me and asked me "Can I drive you somewhere?" He brought me to our friend's house. She answered the door. I said "Sue's gone" Stunned she asked the trooper what happened. He just nodded. When I went in, her husband asked the same question. All I could say was She's gone. In a daze he drove me to my house where I broke the news to our sons about what had happened.

The day Sue died a good friend wrote a poem about her and another set it to music. The poem was called, "You Lived your Life for Me." At the memorial service we heard these words:

Its time to come and be with me
She heard the voice reply
No more pain and suffering
So bid this world goodbye

The only sound you heard was the sound of tears.

I only wish this forum had been here years ago. I have needed to tell this story for so long. Thanks for listening.

October 1, 2003

And now for the rest of my story.
After Sue died I kept in touch with Stella. (Stephanie) I have known her for 32 years. We had dated for 18 months before she introduced me to my wife. During
that time we went many places, and had lots of good, innocent fun. We were the best of friends. Many times after Sue died I called and cried on her shoulder. As time went by we kept in touch with Christmas cards and sporadic phone calls. Then in June of this year she called and told me that she and her children were coming to Detroit.
Her daughter was competing in the AAU Junior Olympics and could I guide them around the Detroit area while she was here. She had also lost her Sunshine a while ago.

When we met, it was as if we were talking to someone we had seen just yesterday not 9 years ago at her brother's wedding.

At the motel's pool we watched the kids and talked. Then she said to me "Arthur, if you lived near me I could see us having a relationship." No reply from me. She asked, "what's wrong?" I said "I can't see." She said "what?" I repeated, "I can't see." Her words had gone to the depths of my soul. She had invited me into her heart. I had never thought I would hear those words again. Yes I was crying but those were tears of joy.

That Saturday I came over to take her out to dinner. As we walked out the door she quipped "I'm going on a date." To which her daughter replied, "What do you mean a date?" She replied "You know, dinner and adult conversation." As we walked to my van she reached for my arm. My reply was to take her hand in mine. After dinner we talked as good friends do and then I kissed her goodnight.

The next day we all went on a trip to Port Huron. On the way home we took a wrong turn. But it really wasn't a wrong turn, because miles later we were driving back in the rain when the sun came out. There in front of us was the biggest rainbow I had ever seen. A few minutes later it hit me, If a rainbow comes after the rain, could love come again after tears of sorrow?

So "Stella," I thank you, I love you.

Arthur


************************************

It was the end of February 2002 that Andy left me. One day his spirit was here, the next day
he was gone.
During those last days and the first days after, there was such a noise in my head, a continuous hum. I thought it was, perhaps, all the people surrounding me. I was never alone. I was grateful for the companionship. I did not want to be alone. At the same time, I also wished everybody would just shut up, and leave. Such is the way with grief.

Finally, the day came when everybody had to return to their routines. Quietly, gently, they bid their goodbyes, and left us here. There soon was nobody left except for the kids and me. Now came the time to face things. It was time to fully experience the pain.

It was the beginning of spring here in Oklahoma. We had already had some days in the 70's, and then we were walloped by a massive cold front that plunged into the teens the day Andy died. The days following the funeral were moderate, with a mixture of gray and sunshine, as common in the spring. I remember standing in my yard, listening while the wind blew its way through my wind chimes. The world was strangely silent, other than the sound of those chimes, and the hum that still echoed through my head ... lessening, but still there.

I had only two states of mind ... numb, and then prostrate with grief. Any little stimulant to any sense could trigger the prostration. A bird call, the smell of the freshly thawing earth, a scant ray of sunshine warming my skin. All the things that had brought me joy in a past life. All those little things continued nagging at me that my life with Andy was over, never to return. It was as though they had been sent to laugh at me me in my weakest moment.

I would desperately look for reminders that he really once existed. Photos, notes, any little shred of him. Then, when I would find them, I would find myself clutching my heart, and weeping because there was nothing left of him except two-dimensional items. "All that is left of you is PAPER! My God, Honey, where are you? Where are you?? Can you hear me? Do you love me? Where did you go?" I was pleading with the world in general to please help me find him! I knew he was gone, but bring him back anyway!

As days went by, the hum gradually disappeared. I found myself almost missing it, for it had began when Andy was still here. Any connection was better than none! I began to notice new sounds. Our neighbors had bought some tacky, but cute, plastic flamingos with wings that would whir in the wind. I would notice their sound, and realize that if I was hearing it, that meant I was still alive. I started hearing the voices of the neighborhood kids at play. How long had it been since I had allowed myself to even observe the pleasure of others?

I found myself laughing at something the kids said. Guilt would follow, but soon I would catch myself laughing again! Lightening didn't strike me for that, either. For the first time in ages I noticed the blue sky. I noticed the summer heat, the scent of rain. No, I was not what one could describe as happy, yet I knew I wanted to live again.

Another year passed. The pain was still there, but it had become simply another part of me. Instead of attempting to chase the sadness away, I now hold it close. My grief will remain forever to remind me that love is forever. Life became a gift to me again.

On a lark, I bought some tacky, but cute, plastic flamingos with whirring wings ... to remind me of the days of returning hope.


Then one day, I saw a rainbow. And, my life began again.

Guess what came in the mail today?

Arthur sent me his 30 year pin! He sent it along with the notice that his request for retirement was reviewed and accepted!!! He has decided, to my delight, that he is NOT going to wait until May!!! His official date of retirement is December 1, but he has some vacation time left, so his last day of work will be November 20th.

A letter to Arthur

Well, my dear,

The battery on your phone gave out. (Usual story, although we had much more time tonight!) I went to bed, and fell immediately into a sound, dreamless sleep. Then, ten minutes ago I woke up, and now I am wide awake. 2:55 AM my time!

I had a brief thought of calling you just to say "I love you," but I figure you are so sound asleep you would not even hear the phone. So, I refrained from doing that. I know I will speak to you tomorrow!

Now, about the facets I was beginning to tell you about.....

I was afraid that you would focus on only one facet of our relationship. I am sure there is at least one thing that we will not agree on. However, in order to give us a chance, we can't focus on one negative area unless it is a BIG one. I only have a few things that are negative enough to me that would stop a relationship in it's tracks. They are things like cheating, illegal drug abuse, physical abuse towards me or my kids, lying to me, stealing or other illegal activities. I have known you for over 30 years, and I don't think you would do any of those.

So many things to consider! Who am I, really? Who are you, really? I think we already know the answer to that. We are two people with similar values who love each other. But, what are we hoping to achieve if we get married? Here are the "facets" that immediately come to my mind.

1. Love and tenderness
2. Friendship and companionship
3. Teamwork and respect
4. Parenting
5. Protection
6. Religion/worship (I know, that should be first, but I just thought of it.)
7. A home together
8. Financial security
9. Activities together
10. Intimacy

I know there are probably many more, but those came to my mind first.
Now, I will explain how I see us fitting into each of these areas, and I hope that you can picture me in your life in these areas.

Love and tenderness: We already have that. I want you here so that I can express those to you on a daily basis, not only by word, but by look, and touch.

Friendship and companionship: go hand in hand. When you are friends with somebody, you want to be with them. I can be happy going places with you, dancing with you, dining with you. I can be equally happy being at home with you, sitting around in our PJ's listening to the radio.

Teamwork and respect: also go hand in hand. When you respect your partner, you can understand the art of Give and Take. A couple that is a good team works for what is best for the family. A good team also realizes that sometimes an individual needs more attention. Ultimately, they work together to achieve joint goals, and help each other achieve individual goals.

Parenting: As I said while we were talking: if I were to choose a new mate purely on what kind of a co-parent he would be, you would still be number one on my list. A parent must set ground rules in order to keep kids safe from their own immature actions. A parent must also love and respect the kids. I know that you do both, because I watched you with your own kids. I have done the stepparent thing once already, and I know the work can be hard, but the rewards are tremendous. Perhaps the hardest thing in parenting is when the kids are ready to leave home. It is so hard to let them go, and then not bale them out the first time they come crying. Although I would never let any of my kids starve, I have never let them use me, either.

Protection: Not only in the sense of being kept safe, but also being each other's advocate. Everybody needs somebody to defend him or her against the world ... even when they may be the one who is wrong.

Religion: This won't be too difficult, as we are both believers. We can discuss which denomination to attend. The important thing is that we go as a family.

A home together: We are starting to hammer down some things on this subject. I know you are right ... we need a new place that is ours. As I said, I also have fears. I have never sold a house before, and my credit isn't the slickest in the West. (not horrible, but not great.) How about yours? We may have no choice but to start out here. A home equity loan to do a large remodel is much easier to qualify for than a new mortgage. But I am open on this one. I am not taking a hard line.

Financial security: That is my specialty. No brag, just fact. I am a wise investor. I am also honest. I will help you as well as myself. Plus, as I said, there is more to financial contribution than bringing home a paycheck. There is a multitude of ways to help each other. From packing lunches (healthier, anyway) to taking turns cooking. (Much cheaper than eating out.) With two people it is much easier to scout out bargains. With two people it is easier to take care of a home without outside help. (Lawn, etc.)

Activities together: Anything that we care to do. As long as we do them TOGETHER. As in both of us.

Intimacy: Goes along naturally with a loving relationship. I am not talking merely about sex. I am talking about kissing, caressing, holding, and emotional intimacy. I am ready for that on a regular basis, E tu?

That is my long letter for today. Now, love, what are your ideas? Can you think of other areas?

With all my love at 3:02 AM CDT

Stephanie :)


P.S. This is hard work

State Fair Time again!

Can you believe it is that time of year again? Here is our 17th button in the series. This year, we were honored to have Jimmy with us again. And, if you notice, a token of Andy is in this photo... (hint: Jimmy is holding it.)

The Gang!

(We missed having Tiffanie in the photo, but maybe we will get her at Thanksgiving!)
Me, Shelby, Marilyn, Doug, Jimmy, John, Mom, and Victoria
(of course Clarence Andrew is forever with us in spirit.)

Update....

I think I am now smack in the middle of something really big. Art is eligible to take his retirement from the State of Michigan. As of right now, he is planning on taking it, and moving to Oklahoma City in May.

And, the wonderful thing is, that is exactly what I want him to do!

If anybody had tried to tell me that I would find myself head-over-heels about Arthur (my good buddy of so many years) I would have laughed and asked if I could have some of whatever they were smoking!!!

Back to work... in love! :)

Darn.

I didn't want to go back to work. I want the summer to continue on in leisure so I can just float around on this cloud and think of his beautiful eyes.

But back to work I went. My first day back was a real trip! I was in meetings and inservices all day with the rest of the school nurses. The first one to see me was Jean.

She looked at me and said, "Stephanie! You look great! What did you do to yourself, girl?"

I said, in a dreamy way, "Oh Jean, I'm in LOVE!"

Well, that was met with a bunch of squeals and requests for "Details! Details!"

There were four people per group, and I was dragged/passed from group to group by all these crazy, happy nurses so I could tell my story! Even though I am telling the same story over and over again, I never get tired of it. And I love these folks, this is the same bunch who held me up with their love and caring when Andy died.

I guess it was an eventful, romantic summer for several of us there. There are engagements, new boyfriends, and one other nurse had a story similar to mine, except she has "only" known her guy for 27 years!

Crazy in love

I am trying to be mature and dignified about this.

It is so difficult for me though, when my heart is singing like a teenagers! I am having a hard time keeping my own secret. It is such a delicious secret. I want the whole world to know! I want to shout from the rooftop!

" I love a man! His name is Arthur

...MY Arthur!

And he loves me too!!! "

Even his name is beautiful to me. I catch myself saying it out loud, just to hear it. I speak of him to anybody who will listen, just so I can again hear the word 'Arthur.' I write his name out, because I want to savor the beauty of it in written form.

Mature? Dignified? No. Crazy in love? YES!

Will anyone understand? Maybe not... but this isn't for others to understand. I believe that those who love us will be celebrating with us, and the rest simply don't matter.

What an adventure this is for both of us! I'm having a hard time believing this is real.

Lights are back on, All's Well!

Back to counting the minutes between emails...!

Beautiful Insomnia....Saturday Morning (moaning?)

(groan)

It's me again.

Arthur was finally able to get through around midnight. This is becoming insane! :) I went to bed at 3:00 AM after talking with him half the night, and now it is 7:00 AM here. I'm wide awake and needing to write.

Reminder to myself: Self, you are getting too old for this...!

Well, I'm mature enough to realize that this stage doesn't last forever.

And old enough to say: "Thank God that it doesn't!"

This IS insane! And wonderful! All I can think about is HIM. His beautiful eyes. His shy smile. EVERYTHING!

They still haven't figured out what caused that big power outage, but I think I know. It was the voltage from our phone calls and emails! If we keep this up, in addition to Detroit, Oklahoma City will also be in the dark!

Major Blackout up North

There is a blackout going on up North... perhaps the largest one in North American history. It started yesterday, and much of lower Canada and the Eastern US seaboard is affected. Plus Ohio and Michigan. So, along with 50 million other people, Arthur has been in the dark since yesterday.

He called last night while I was at bowling, and left a message that he is doing OK. However, I haven't heard from him since. Whenever I try to call I get the same old "All circuits are busy" recording.

I have been reading every scrap of news out of Detroit. They say all State offices are closed, so Arthur isn't working today.

All this turmoil, uncertainty and waiting is starting to get to me. And, I feel like a drug addict, sitting here waiting for my "fix!" I have become so accustomed the past week or so to hearing from Arthur several times a day. I think withdrawal symptoms are starting!

Finally! Jr. Olympic Photos!

I did not take still photos, but Rosemarie was nice enough to share hers. These pics were taken July 28. This is the team competing to "All that Jazz."




The traveling team, Encore Twirlers of Oklahoma City: Angela, Shelby, Kendy and Beverly.



It's always best to not take yourself too seriously! Good going girls! :)

Fish or Frog?

I don't know what to do with these feelings! I am exhilarated, confused... crazy.

The past few days I have spent a good many hours discussing this situation with Kathy. After all, she has known Arthur for as long as I have.

She keeps telling me: "If you feel he is a keeper, then KEEP him! There are no more fish in the sea. THEY'RE ALL FROGS!!!"

I say: "I'm afraid to put my heart on the line. What if he backs off, and I get my heart broken?"

She says: "Knowing Arthur he is more likely to ask you to MARRY him than back off! I think you guys have always been a little bit crazy about each other!"

But, I say to her "We're talking about ARTHUR here! Our goofy, sweet, hyperactive FRIEND. Have I lost my mind???"

She says: "I don't see any down side to this. You know him, he knows you, you both have always got along."

"But! But! But!!! But..... Isn't this awful fast?? Slap me!"

She just laughs at me.

Some help SHE is!

Well, he has booked a flight to come here for a few days over Fall Break. So, it looks like he might be feeling the same way I am.

I AM crazy! I want to experience life... with Arthur! I want to go square dancing again! I want to teach him to two-step. I want to drive from one end of Rt. 66 to the other with him!

I want to take him to Frontier City and ride the Wildcat! I want to try every ethnic resturant in town. I want us to go to Eskimo Joes and eat cheese fries!!! (OK, I guess I'll draw the line at jumping out of airplanes and mountain climbing.)


Arthur? Could I love Arthur???

An age old friendship

It is amazing to me how POSITIVELY the brief time I spent with Arthur has affected me! During the past 18 months I felt myself age tremendously. I don't really look much different, but I was feeling unattractive, slow and OLD.

It isn't the "romance" thing, as much as spending time with an old friend has reminded me of the person I used to be. I am remembering the Stephanie of the days before I even thought of being anybody's wife. I am now determined to get back to being myself, active, fun-loving and decent-looking.

I've started remembering Arthur from so long ago. I adored him back then, but I was too young and inexperienced to know what to do with those feelings. Eventually we went on to more serious relationships with other people and drifted apart, although we remained friends for all these years.

Here is a photo of us together then. This was taken in May of '72. We think it may be the only picture with both of us together when we were dating, although we have quite a few that we took of each other.

He was so good and kind to me, and we had so much fun back then! We never argued with each other about anything. He used to take me for long rides, first in his green 1971 Pinto, later in his '74 Hornet. One year he bought me a huge Easter basket from Hudson's. I wore his class ring for a little while, but as a "friedship" ring. I saw 'Gone with the Wind' my very first time with him. He was the only guy I knew that smelled great with "British Sterling" cologne!

I remember listening to his McIntosh (not Macintosh, different company) stereo and how he would explain the different types of stereo equipment. Arthur is the person who introduced me to the music of 'The Moody Blues.' We also both happened to be into classical music. When he moved into his first apartment I helped move his stuff, and helped him decorate it. (No, nothing happened between us! He and Sue were already an item.)

We originally met at square dancing. We used to dance with a group called the "Teen Wheelers." I was a newbie at the time, and he was in the advanced group known as "Angels." Although a much better dancer than I, he put up with me until I learned how! I remember how he would ask me to dance, hand behind his back, throwing a teasing smile over his shoulder.

I remember the terrible night his brother Kenny died in a freak accident. I remember him coming over to my house and singing with me, my dad and my brother.

We definitely had a past. Do we have a future???

Romance?? Me??????

I guess I should tell everybody about a rather fun developement that occured during our trip up north.

I had the opportunity to have a date with someone that I used to date in high school. Anybody remember Arthur? I dated him back in 1972! If you don't remember, here is some background.

This is a very interesting situation: I introduced him to his wife back in 1972. Sue was one of my very best friends. They were married in 1977, had 4 boys (Dominic, Greg, Matt and Danny) and a happy marriage. Both of our families were close. Sue even made Marilyn (my sis-in-law's) wedding gown. Two weeks after she delivered the gown, Sue was killed in a car accident. That was 9 years ago, and Art is still single.

We have always been friends, and I never have thought of him as anything but. However, when we had dinner, it became obvious to both of us that something was in the air. We ended the evening with an honest, heartfelt kiss.

Now, he lives a thousand miles away, so I really don't expect anything to come from this, but it made me feel wonderful. I guess I'm ready to think about dating?

It's ironic, because Kathy and I were talking about maybe going to a couple clubs when I returned from vacation. I have been getting weary of only having kids to talk with every evening. I mean, I love my kids... but....! Dinner and a movie would be a nice thing once in awhile!

But in the meantime I have been receiving some pretty sweet emails from up north! This is so much fun! It seems like forever ago that I felt alive like this.

Here's to Romance!!!

Photos from our trip to the Detroit Zoo

Welcome to the Detroit Zoo!



John and Beverly are having fun



Kids in front of the penguin house



A brief rest stop...



...then off we go again!



Playing with a brass elephant



Hey! Who is that ugly kid in back?



John Henry poses in front of a retired train engine



Here comes the Detroit Zoo train to take us for a ride!



Goodbye, all! We have had fun!

Back from the Jr. Olympics

I am going to post this today so that everybody knows we made it back from Detroit safe and sound. The twirling competition was lots of fun! The girls did not make the finals. :(

But they had fun, tried their best, and ended up scoring in the middle, for which we are proud of them all! :)

We had a wonderful time visiting with many old friends that I grew up with...and had a nice surprise when one of those friends presented me with photos that he had taken when Andy and I were up there for our honeymoon!!! I had never seen them before! I will be scanning those and putting them on here in memory of our anniversary. Plus, watch for some photos from our vacation!

Love y'all!!!!

Encore Twirlers

The Encore Twirlers of Oklahoma City are leaving July 25th for Detroit to compete in the Jr. Olympics. We are very excited! Even if the team doesn't place, it is exciting that they made it in!

Competing: Angela, Beverly, Kendy, and Shelby.

GOOD LUCK, GIRLS!

True Friends

I have found that there are some people who really mean it when they say: "Let us know if you need anything."

Bruce and Patty, our neighbors across the street, are that way. They have done everything for me from babysitting, to yard work, to home repairs. They bring over food. He has done woodworking for years, and has helped my son build birdhouses and etc. No charge, of course.

The amazing thing is, these people are in their 70's, and both have had health problems. I try to not ask them for things all the time, because I don't want to take advantage of their kindness.

Many of my friends have managed to include me in activities in such a way that I don't feel out of place, or like a 3rd wheel. Somehow, our friendships remain without any change other than we all miss Andy. There is no awkwardness when we get together.

It is good to know that so many people are kind.