She said "YES!!!"

Shelby and Alex have a big date coming up on April 26th!! :)

I became a Mom 30 years ago today!

Happy Birthday my "Sun." You have given me more joy than you will ever know.

Love,
Mom

Joining the ladies

I have always wanted to fit into a “ladies clique.” By that, I mean my desire is to be a woman who feels at home in my own skin when I am attending a ladies event such as a church potluck or a baby shower. This gal has been a very shy person since childhood.

Truth be told, the fine art of female small-talk has always escaped me. That’s not to say I don’t have female friends; I do. My friends and I rarely do the small-talk thing, however. Rather, we engage in lively, animated (and sometimes heated!) political discussions, or try for hours to figure out the meaning of life.

Last weekend an opportunity came up for me to try once more to fit into a casual gathering of women. A group from my square dance club had a 4 hour “sewing bee” to make our new club dresses. Each of us was to bring our favorite salad, and I decided to bring a chicken Waldorf salad.

My Waldorf salad always turns out pretty good, so I decided not only was I going to make it for the sewing bee, I was also going to take photos of it as it was being created! I have seen beautiful posts with delicious food being prepared, so why not chronicle my creation in the making and post it here! But, alas, I can’t even do the girl-party thing correctly for my blog.

I start out by cutting up the apples:



Then the celery:



But I really didn't want to cut this:



Yes, I cut my thumb! Doesn’t that figure? So much for my photo shoot!

I had to “heal myself” before I could leave for the gathering, so I was late arriving. Everybody was super nice, but I felt frazzled. Once again, the shy side of me took over..

Sigh. Maybe next time!!! :)


Oh, the salad did turn out pretty good, my mishap aside!

Happy St. Pat's Everybody! :)

Here’s a bit of St. Patty’s Day cheer in the form of my little leprechauns Shelby and John. These photos were taken in 1995.

A Touch of Spring

My daffodils burst into bloom this morning. :)



This little bunch was cross-pollinated by John when he was 8 years old. He was fascinated with how new colors of flowers could be created by cross pollination, and asked if it would work with daffodils. I wasn’t sure; I had only done it with daylilies. I figured it wouldn’t hurt for him to try, and since I was busy with another garden project I told him how he could do it.

John spent about an hour rubbing the heads from a common yellow daffodil into the heads of some white ones. Now, that’s not a very scientific way to create hybrid flowers, but it worked! The seed pods grew into these yellow and white odd shaped flowers. I have seen some with similar color at the nursery, but shaped a bit differently.

Little surprises like these flowers keep me happy! :)

A Wacky Wedding in the family

Sung to the tune of “The Great Pretender”…

Ohhhhh… yes I’m the Great Procrastinator! Oooo Oooo!

(Yeah, I know you have to cram those syllables in, but I can do whatever I want on my blog! Ha Ha!)

I have been meaning to post these photos since Halloween, and I’m just now getting around to it. But these are too cool to ignore.

On Halloween my Step-step daughter Sherri and her fiancé Mathew were united in Holy Matrimony. And what a wedding it was! (If I have to explain “Step-step daughter,” you won’t understand. My mom says she needs a road map to keep track of how all my extended family members are connected, and I think she is right.)

Anyway, here is the wedding of Elvira and the Grim Reaper!!! They are each on their third marriage, and they are hoping the different twist will bring them better luck.


The happy couple with their bridesmaids:



A Ghoulish wedding cake:



The Bride and Groom!



And there you have it!

May they have a frighteningly awesome life together! :)

A short political rant

Following the current state of the primary elections is wearing me out.

Oh how I long for the simple "Good Old Days" of politics!



Yes I really wore this, and yes I threw my vote away. But I didn't like either of the other candidates!

OK, rant over! :)

Probate day one

My petition to be granted the position of executor of Andy’s estate was presented to the court today. After all my fret and worry, I didn’t even have to appear. According to my attorney, the process should be fairly uncomplicated. I certainly hope so. It’s been hard enough emotionally as it is.

It’s so strange. Here I am, trying to take a great leap forward, but circumstances are trying to hold me back. Going through all the documents to prepare for probate reminded me of the old country song “Digging up Bones.”

“I’m diggin’ up bones,

Just diggin’ up bones,

Exhuming things that’s better left alone.

I’m resurrecting memories of my love that’s dead and gone.

Well tonight I’m sittin’ alone, diggin’ up bones."

Yup, it seems there’s always more of them thar bones to dig up... even when I don't want to do it any more.

Another grey hair for Mom

It’s always scary when you pick up the phone and your child is sobbing on the other end of the line. It’s even scarier when the child is out with the car.

“Momma!!!” (sob, sob.)

“What is it Shelby???”

“Oh Momma, I need to talk to Arthur!” (sob, sob.)

Now the situation is reaching truly frightening levels. Shelby was out with Arthur’s vehicle. I had visions of a battered child calling from the side of the road with a wrecked van surrounded by police.

“He’s in the shower. What’s the matter, Sweetie?”

“I was (sob, sob) washing the van and the wand slipped out of my hand and (sob, sob) broke the window! And I’m scared Arthur (sob, sob) is going to be mad at me…!”

Deep exhale from Mom!

No, Arthur is not mad. I am not mad. We are just thankful for small every day problems that a little bit of money can fix.

A broken window is incredibly small in the great scheme of things.

Wryly tongue-in-cheek!

The closing on the new house was supposed to take place tomorrow, but has been postponed until the probate smoke clears. For some reason I am not even really surprised by this turn of events. Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get me! :)

In one of my recent musings I told about how Andy and I wanted to move out of this house, but something always prevented us from moving. Now Arthur is living in this house with me and once again something is preventing the move, at least temporarily.

A chill ran down my back when I came to this realization:

'Relax,' said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like,
but you can never leave!

This is not a house. We are living in the Hotel California!!!



Ok, now that I have written that I have the song running through my head. So here it is!

A new day dawns

My note from yesterday was not really what I had envisioned. I had in my mind a wonderfully written six-year tribute, but when I sat down to write all the words fell out of my head. All that was left was the emotion.

A common thread in my life story is nothing ever can be done in a simple manner! I have spent way too much time unsnarling legal messes, generally to correct other people’s mistakes. So, in addition to this being a horrible time of the year for me, I should have known that buying a home would not be a smooth ride.

As it turns out, I have to go through probate court. There was no provision of right of survivorship on the title to my house, so I can’t use the equity until a judge looks at our will. So our closing date on the new house has been put on hold for at least a month. Hopefully the sellers will be willing to wait that long.

Yesterday was particularly difficult this year, because of the probate stuff rearing its head at just the wrong time. Going through all those legal documents with Andy's signature on them, producing the will and the death certificate and then having to call all the kids and explain everything to them. (Their signatures are required as "heirs at large.") It sent me into a tailspin.

Today I am much better. I am emotionally drained and exhausted, but I now feel ready to step into year number seven. And everybody should be happy to know that my posts won’t be nearly as depressing for awhile.

Thanks everybody!

Onward…!!!!

No words today.

It has been six years today.

I don't know what else to say.

It still hurts.

Remembering Phoenix

I need to tell the story, but I’m not sure how to start. It feels like something I have never completely absorbed, because it happened during the 18 months of confusion preceding Andy’s death.

Seven years ago today Andy and I lost our little grandson, Phoenix. He was the son of Andy’s oldest daughter Frances, and we were his “Papa and Nana La-la.” (He couldn’t pronounce “Waller.” We loved it!)

“Whacha doin’ Papa La-la?”

“Nana La-la, watch me run! I be the FASTEST!”

Phoenix loved to play, and loved to run. But on that day in 2001, he ran too far. He was in the front yard with his older sister, and before she could stop him he chased his soccer ball into the road in front of an oncoming pickup.

Already overwhelmed with his own illness and in the hospital himself, Andy called me. I so wish I had been with him when he was told that Phoenix had died, but I had left for home just a half hour earlier. He could barely speak, and I was brought to my knees by the news. John and Shelby were totally devastated, and that night they slept with me, all of us in a tight cluster in the middle of my bed.

Phoenix was buried 3 days later in a pretty little rural cemetery in the little town of Roland, Oklahoma. It was about a three hour drive from here, and Andy was not well enough to leave the hospital for the funeral. I wrote down every detail so I could tell him all about it. Little did we know that Andy would be joining Phoenix in heaven a year later, almost to the day.

One strange little thing happened at the graveside. A little calico cat darted out of nowhere, and kept on rubbing all over John. He kept it up until we left. Maybe it was a sign that Phoenix wanted to play with John one last time.

Phoenix and John were the same age. They used to have a great old time running around whenever the two of them were together. He would have turned 13 on Valentine’s Day this year, and it’s so not fair…he should have been here to receive his own rose from a girl like John did last Thursday.

My heart is heavy today. Phoenix has been gone longer than he was even on this earth. I miss the cute little imp that he was, but even more I miss getting to know him as he grew. I knew and loved the child, but never got to know the person. I miss having a relationship with the young man that he now would be.

Dear Phoenix; I hope you and Papa La-la are having a great time running across those fields in heaven.

Nana La-la misses you both.

So THIS is how I should be blogging!

Here is a "Eureka" moment! I was surfing the 'net just minding my own business, when I came across THE RULES of creating a phenomenal blog!



Rule no. 1: CREATE A BLOG!

(OK, done.)


Rule no. 2: WRITE “SEX”! You NEED to write a post that contains the word “sex” in it.

(Alrighty, after I complete this post I will have one!)


Rule no. 3: THINK BIG!

(I'm already thinking about sex. Of course I am thinking big!! ROFL)


So... it seems like my blog is about to make the bigtime! And, so you all don't think that I would keep a secret from my blogging buddies, here is a link to the page that is responsible for my impending blogging success:

How to Skyrocket your Blog


Hmmmm. Should I go the extra step of putting the word "sex" in the title of this post??

Nah... I don't think I could stand the fame... :)

A note about yesterday

In my last post I gave the reasons that Valentine's Day is not my favorite holiday. But one little thing happened yesterday to remind me of what the day is all about.


John received his first flower... from a GIRL!!!

He has been on cloud nine ever since! :)

broken hearts

I don’t like February.


I don’t like Valentine’s Day.


The month and the holiday remind me of loss. Eleven days after Valentine’s Day of 2002.... you know....

Arthur understands. He goes through the same feelings at Easter. So I go easy on the bunnies with him, and he goes easy on the hearts and flowers with me. At least both holidays offer the comfort of chocolate.

I figured the February fog would be gone by this year.

I figured wrong.

More about moving.

The process of purchasing a new house is throwing me into some sort of emotional tailspin. I am not sleeping well, and break down into tears about leaving my current house. I have even felt moments of panic. Is any new adventure in my life going to open up old wounds???

My kids were witness to one of these episodes the other night. I started crying, and couldn’t stop.

They were so concerned: “Momma, what’s wrong?”

Then they looked at me like I was crazy when I replied: “I’m not sure I’m ready to move.”

You see, I’m tired of living here. The kids know this. I’ve been tired of this house for a long time. It is the proverbial Money Pit. Just when something gets fixed, something else breaks. I never really even liked it all that much when Andy and I first moved in here. But it was wheelchair accessible which we needed for him, and we could afford the payments. When we looked at it for the first time I certainly did not have the “This is the one” moment that I had the other day.

Every time we tried to move something would crop up; a hospitalization, tight finances, a new baby, overtime hours at work. It became apparent that we were going to be stuck here for a long time. So, we started turning this place into a real home. I planted my gardens front and back. A friend of ours added a picket fence for us. Finally we had an extra room added and Andy signed the papers for that right from his bed during one of his many hospital stays.

I’ve been thinking perhaps the reason a move never worked out before is we were supposed to stay here. A higher power intended this to be my home with Andy, and we really did make it ours. Now Arthur and I are destined to have a new home, if everything goes through as smoothly as it seems.

But it’s more distance between my old life and my new life. It’s another goodbye.

It hurts to say goodbye.

The news I've been waiting for.

I can't believe it happened this fast.

We made an offer on the house on Tuesday. The seller countered, we countered, and finally the seller countered again with a price we couldn't refuse.

Today we accepted, signed the purchase agreement, and qualified for funding. All this happened in two days. It used to take at least two weeks! But that was before the advent of the computer age of today. My head is swimming.

Anyway, unless the house doesn't pass inspection, it belongs to us. I'm so happy!!!




So... why have I been crying since we found out???

And ......the work begins!

We made an offer on the house last night, and then signed dozens of different forms that basically just say that we are interested in making a purchase. I had forgotten just how much paperwork there is to buying a house! And, it's just beginning. And we don't even know yet if we will qualify. And we have to do it all over again if the owners don't accept our initial offer. No wonder it's been 20 years since the last time I did this!

OK everybody... I'm in LOVE again!

I am completely head-over-heels about the house we saw today! (Oh yeah, I still am crazy about Arthur too, but you know how it is with a brand new love!) :)

One thing that is keeping me from totally floating away on the love-cloud is the fact that it has been over two decades since either of us have been through the house buying process. We have heard horrible things about the current market. Will we be able to qualify for the loan? Will we be able to sell this house? AAAUuuuggghhh!!!! I don't want to have my heart broken if it doesn't work out!

All the angst aside, we are planning on making an offer on the new house tomorrow. We'll just see what happens.

House hunting in January

For the past three years I have been writing about moving.

When Arthur and I were first married, it was almost an insurmountable task to even consider selling my house. There was SO much work to be done! And, truth be told, I wasn't even sure how to go about selling. We decided to go ahead and let Arthur do the repairs and cosmetics needed to get the house ready for market. He made arrangements for contractors to do the big things he couldn't handle on his own.

The house now has a new roof, new heat and air (with ducts completely re-routed through the ceiling since the floor ducts had collapsed.) We have had the plumbing repaired and new carpeting and tile placed. There is fresh paint inside and out. The landscaping has been redone. (That's MY specialty!)

There are only a couple more relatively minor things that need to be completed. We are in a financial situation where we are well able to purchase another house. But I keep dragging my stupid feet!!!

February looms on the horizon. Six years since Andy died. The month of infamy. It's always hard for me to get my act together in February to deal with even minor issues. Perhaps it would be a good thing to put the house up for sale in February, though. Kind of fitting, in a way, to say goodbye to the house the same month I said goodbye to him.

Today I decided we are going to finally make that move. Arthur has been so wonderful about this, and has let me decide when the time is right. I feel like the time is now. Shelby is entering her senior year of high school. I want her to feel like the new house is "home" when she goes away to college. John wants to move. Arthur and I need a place that is "ours." It's time. It's time. It's time! (I keep repeating to myself.)

Tomorrow we are going to look at a house a friend of mine has for sale. It has everything on our wish list, and the price is right.

Wish me luck.

Which way did he go????

"Which way did he go? Which way did he go??? .... he went for FAYYYGO...old fashioned root beer!!!" (The Faygo Kid, circa 1955)

There is a light-hearted thread on my favorite bulletin board about which word to use: "Pop" or "Soda."

Those of us who are native-born Detroiters know that a carbonated strawberry soft drink should ONLY be referred to as "Red Pop."

Here's a few more Detroit Pop Trivia questions:

Q. How did carbonated beverages become known as "Pop?"
A. The originators of the Faygo company of Detroit came up with the title. They began calling the product "pop," because of the sound made when opening the bottle.

Q. What was the first soda pop made in the U.S?
A. Detroit's own Vernor's ginger ale, created in 1866.

Q. What is a "Boston Cooler?"
A. A Boston cooler is an ice cream soda drink made from Vernor's and vanilla ice cream. It did not come from Boston, it was named after Detroit's Boston Boulevard.

Q. What alternative band uses Faygo pop as part of their show?
A. Insane Clown Posse.

...and here for my Detroit friends and family (and anybody else who cares to watch this!) is our famous Faygo Boat Song. Remember the Great Gildersleeve filmed it on the Boblo Boat??? Ohhh! oh! oh! I feel like a KID again!!!!!

Winter Formal 2008

Nothing could dampen Shelby's excitement yesterday... not even the fact that our water pipes froze out front so we had no running water. (The plumber is making the repairs as I write this.) A quick sponge bath in bottled water made her a happy camper. She complained for a brief moment about the chilly water, but when I reminded her that she could have heated it on the stove, she just shrugged it off and said it wasn't a problem... she would think of that next time! :)

Pennies from Heaven

Are there really such things?

Like others, I have found pennies at just the “right” moment.

For instance, I found one the day I ordered Andy’s headstone. When I left the office, there on the ground next to my car was a shiny new 2002 penny. 2’s are special to me, so my concrete heart felt a tiny bit lighter.

Then there was the day that the kids and I went to the Frontier City theme park for the very first time…a place Andy always wanted to go. I was talking to him in my mind, telling him how much I wished he was with us. Then I looked down. Once again, there was a shiny new 2002 penny.

At the time I craved little coincidences. Often such little things could give me a jumpstart out of my depression.

Those were 2002 pennies, not really so much of a coincidence considering it was 2002 when I found them. For a very long time I wouldn't admit to myself that pennies are generally lying around everywhere, whether I need one or not.

But that doesn’t mean they aren’t special.

I am now in the habit of picking up a lost penny and checking the date on it. Then I go back in my mind to a special thing that happened that year. 1982… I moved to Oklahoma. 1978…my oldest son was born. 1989… I graduated from college. 1968… I was in love with Davy Jones! :)

So whether or not pennies come from heaven they always bring a blessing.

(If the penny is from before I was born that is pretty special too, because that means it is a wheat penny!!!) $$$

And... that's my two cents worth for today. LOL! (Groan!)

Pennies From Heaven


I found a penny today,

just laying on the ground.

But it is not just a penny,

this little coin I found.

Found pennies come from heaven,

thats what my Grandpa told me.

He said Angels toss then down,

oh how I loved that story.

He said when an Angel misses you,

they toss a penny down.

Sometimes just to cheer you up,

make a smile out of your frown.

So don't pass by that penny

when you're feeling blue.

It may be a penny from heaven,

that an Angel's tossed to you.


Author Unknown

The most beautiful grand-twins in the world!!!

Here are Stevie and Andy on their first visit with Santa. It looks like they are already conspiring with each other! :)

I only wish they didn't live on the other side of the country. I did send a big box full of sweet baby things for their first Christmas, we do get to watch them on the web-cam... but I can't hold and squeeze them!


Here are their parents: my son Jimmy and his lovely wife Tiffanie.




I'm only gently complaining about them being so far away. I know that I have been so blessed...